[[How has been]]

Thursday, April 30, 2009

[[ooh aahh hes gone too far]]

hello.
I believe
I have died
A horrible and terrifying
Death as a result of
The retarded chinese MYE paper 1.
The two choices were between hell and
HELL.
Ok so died, nothing impressive here. but the rest of the population died along with me. how nice. hmm mugging did not pay off. it doesnt help that for every 1 sec i mug i have to sleep for 3 secs... ._. and i mean sleep during the day. when im usually more productive. manzz i need to get that A1. will study chinese. chinese. chinese.

[[I wrote this at]]*|9:58 PM|

Sunday, April 26, 2009

[[/edit]]

Start msn convers with: 'have you done your two hours?'.
If i say no, spam me with go do now go do now go do now. Until i say ok im going to do now. get it?

BANGBANG BANGBANG.

Haiz,stupidmestupidmestupidme. howcouldieverthinkthat?

[[I wrote this at]]*|7:50 PM|

Thursday, April 23, 2009

[[Sucess]]

I should live life without regret. I stand by what i have done and not regret. I find human ideals of sucess dumb, perhaps im the dumb one. Why does everyone blindly chase 'sucess'. 我认为我应该活出一个没有遗憾的生活。惭愧是没有意思的。感到惭愧只能使你不快乐。人不能活在‘昨天’里。活在历史中只会带来无限的痛苦。我认为‘成功’是一种很复杂的想法，不是像许多人以为的那么直接。我不理解为什么人一直盲目的追求这‘成功’。

What is sucess? Is it to score 10 A1s, thereafter get a good job, thereafter have a sucessful career? Is it to make alot of money? How do you define sucess? Is it to have a happy life? Is it to have a happy family? Get a good spouse? Is it to go to heaven? Is it to just exist until you die? Is it to do good and accumulate good karma? Is it to pass on genetic information to the future? Is it to be a 'case study' for future people? Is it to study? Is 'not playing computer' sucess? Is doing homework sucess?

Nobody knows what is sucess. <--- statement. 没有人知道‘成功’代表着什么。

Tell me what is sucess. 究竟什么是成功呢么？

Help check the translation -.- some of it has a slightly different meaning, if you know better phrases feel free to voice out. 请帮忙检查我翻译的正文，如有什么能进步的，请多多教导。

我还是觉得转换到快捷华文是一个正确的选择。咳，我觉得我有些遗憾了。。真么办？

[[I wrote this at]]*|6:25 PM|

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

[[]]

hi allllll.

Banned www.darkthrone.com.
STILL NOT STUDYING! how?

[[I wrote this at]]*|8:00 PM|

Monday, April 20, 2009

[[]]

ITS SO HARD. my butt feels as if its STUCK to the chair INFRONT of the computer.

Oh yea, i wanted to say sth abt the school.

The punishment they did today. Was dumb. The only good part is they stuck to their damn word and punished us. They should give more punishments. But they are knocking sense into the wrong group of people. Goodness. What they are doing just irks the rest of the 'good bunch' while the 'bad bunch' dont give a damn. They should like give caning or something if a person refuses to shut his trap. not make the whole bloody school stay back. I HATE MASS PUNISHMENTS. give the punishments to those who deserve it. well.. i did talk... abit.

[[I wrote this at]]*|7:01 PM|

Sunday, April 19, 2009

[[]]

大家好，今日我会与华文来和你们在我的博客上分析我的感想。

第一，我发现打华文字十个非常煎熬的活动。
第二，我下定了决心，要在每天六点半之前做完我的安静时间。
哈哈。

[[I wrote this at]]*|10:42 PM|

Friday, April 17, 2009

[[Studyplan]]

Now that ive caused www.darkthrone.com/forum to be banned, i suppose i will have more time per day.

So, now ive resolved to spend 1hr30min hacking through my undone pile and 30 mins hacking through the reading pile. I think the undone pile will dissapear in around 2-3 weeks. Then i can go onto notemaking. And tuition hmwk will be slotted in somewhere somehow...

SO, you can start msn convers with 'have you done your 2hr?'. To remind. Thanks. Bye,

[[I wrote this at]]*|10:28 PM|

[[]]

Sorted out my piorioties. I need to file. i need to file. i need to file.

I need support for me to file. I HATE FILING. pushing filing backwards is fun.

[[I wrote this at]]*|5:57 PM|

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

[[OMG BEIJING PEEPZ]]

LOOK AT THIS.

Tracy says:
yes~Tony said he miss u last Friday
Nic K - says:
oh really
tell him i miss him too =)
and he doesnt come online
Tracy says:
yes, we're really busy now....T.T
Nic K - says:
oh, you all know how to use smiley faces?
this is fun ^^
busy with?
Tracy says:
yes..lots of homework....

WEEEE looool. Tracy is priscilla's budy. And tony is my buddy. =) heehee this is really happying.

To add on, if you all want to pray for them or something.

Tracy said:
no,June 24. and three big tests will coming soon one is in may one is in June one is in June24....

they are graduating on june 24 to highschool.

[[I wrote this at]]*|6:28 PM|

Saturday, April 11, 2009

[[Empty- click 5]]

Its the new song on my playlist. Was my fave for the time period during dec last year. Couldnt find it.

Tried to take a picture Of loveDidn't think I'd miss her That muchI wanna fill this new frameBut it's empty Tried to write a letterIn inkIt's been getting betterI thinkI got a piece of paperBut it's emptyIt's emptyMaybe we're tryingTrying too hardMaybe we're torn apartMaybe the timing Is beating our heartsWe're emptyAnd I even wonder If weShould be getting underThese sheetsWe could lie in this bedBut it's emptyIt's emptyMaybe we're tryingTrying too hardMaybe we're torn apartMaybe the timing Is beating our heartsWe're emptyOh ohOh ohOoooohOh ohOh ohMaybe we're tryingTrying too hardMaybe we're torn apartMaybe the timing Is beating our heartsWe're empty(Maybe we're trying)(Trying too hard)(Maybe we're torn apart)We're empty(Maybe the timing)(Is beating our hearts)We're empty

WEll, too lazy to sort it out. Just copy paste. concluded. officially.

[[I wrote this at]]*|2:37 PM|

Thursday, April 9, 2009

[[]]

Peace is a lie, there is only

passion.

Through passion, I gain

strength.

Through strength, I gain

power.

Through power, I gain

victory.

Through victory,

my chains are broken.

And I am

Free.

what is this...

[[I wrote this at]]*|6:10 PM|

Monday, April 6, 2009

[[]]

Hello. Abitquitefunnylei. haaaizzzzz.

I think my regular blog posts lack substance. Just haizing around. Sucks much.
So... what shall I do. How bout typing out the crap ive been wanting to do but never got the time to do?

Filing-
Chinese compo- (partially completed) (3/4)
Chem-
Bio many many Ws-
Practice piano-
Write finish my story-
Revise-
Study chinese- (read hao zuo wen) (IDK)
Read english books- ive not read real books for quite lonnggggg.
Pack up. EVERYThING-

ahh somany things

[[I wrote this at]]*|8:56 PM|

Thursday, April 2, 2009

[[300th post @ eulogy at a funeral for a friend]]

Hello people.
I should be studying for my upcoming chemistry test, however, surprise surprise! i am not. Instead, i am using this precious time to pen down or rather key in my thoughts.

Moments ago, I just Ironed my uniform. The familiar scent of liquid starch hits my nose. I have not smelled it for quite some time now. I go through the familiar yet unfamiliar of late routine of ironing the uniform. Spray the starch on the collar go through once. go through twice, hold, spray water press thrice. Flip, spray, press, repeat ... I then went out to polish my boots. They are dirty. Again the smell of kiwi is familiar yet distant. Going through the motions again. I fill the cap with water, dip two fingers into the kiwi, plaster it over the front of the boot. dip the same two fingers into the water, rub rub rub rub rub. I notice that my boots have earth stuck to it. I clean it. It hits me that tomorrow will be the second last time I will be wearing my (beloved) uniform. It seemed like I had just put NCC as my first choice yesterday.

Flashback: Year-2005
After completing orientation week and finding out that my mentor was in art club -.-. I went through the CCAs again. Innovators club seemed fun, learning how to build a ultra-lightweight bridge that could support lester's' weight. Volleyball- im not that tall. St johns- for girls, even though the archery looked fun. Shooting- would be great if I didnt shoot down the target during the trials. NCC- intimidating, man, fun. ODAC- adventerous, fun, interesting.

M: So what CCA do you think you want join?
J: Dunno lei, what about you?
M: I also dunno. Why not join NCC. the paint ball thing look like fun lei.
J: I anything also can.
M: NCC have like alot of fun activities got archery, flying fox, paint ball...
J: ok la ok la pick NCC.

So, i put NCC as my first choice, ODAC second, innovators club third.
Presto, Ive just been drafted into the national cadet corps.

First training: Introduced to staff sergeant Desmond, the guy that is also the DB head of SLB. And the 'handsome' csm, and the 'plump' marksman asm. Do a few pushups, feel that I have become more tough. Happy fool. Ive set my aim to attain at least a staff sergeant.

Next few trainings: Made a few acquaintances. Learnt serdi-ya and sernang-diri. Was very enthu. Practiced drill in classroom with jiayi. Very proud of NCC. Saw wesley get commended. Was immensely impressed. 1st best cadet- randolph

Next few trainings: Averaged 100 push-ups a day. No complain, sweating is fun. Learnt rest of the drill. Practiced ALOT of drills in classroom with a group of other uniformed group personnel. Thomas liked me, kept calling me cute. I didnt quite like him, because of his body odour. 2nd best cadet- nicholas siew.

Energy saving course: I was dissapointed that I wasnt picked. The first two best cadets along with weiming(i think) was picked. I motivated myself. Oh no, now others have one badge more than me.

Some fateful training: I tried to not stand beside thomas when we falled in. He seemed to sense it, went to stand beside me. I said something like he was kinda smelly to the effect. What have I done?

(dunno when might be in sec 2) SANA course: Volunteered myself to go. Wake up early in the morning go and meet the rest at compass point. small small stupid stupid. Go through the entire course about some rubbish about drug abuse. Had some group work, made some good friends. Lost contact with good friends a few hours later. Was offered a cigratte. Haha now I have one badge, more than you.

(dunno when also might be in sec 2) Civil defence Course: Same, volunteerism spirit. Was sent to tampinese fire station. Went through some theory, then some practical, put out a fire from a gas stove. Really fun. The bottom of a fire extinguisher is freezing, do not touch it. Haha now I have two badges more than you, im making it.

Camp: kinda homesick, seemed to fall out with wesley some how... learnt how to be independent

Secondary two: Went for EVERY SINGLE TRAINING. Quite sure that 9/10 of the people didnt. TBH, when randolph didnt, I felt I was better than him. Stupid me uh? Obviously 6/10 of the platoon suffered the usual bravo attitude and didnt materialise every wednesday and saturday. I DID FOOTDRILLS during MOTHERTONGUE class with kahlun. HONESTLY. that might have cost me my HMT, come to think of it now... EVERY chinese class we were facing each other taking turns to give commands and do footdrills. Obviously i was also affected by the Bravo syndrome. I think i might have not worn uniform for up to 5 occasions.

Orienteering team: Very very very proud when I was choosen. I have finally made it. Ran around, ran some more. Leapord crawl. Chase a stick. Chase a stick OUTSIDE the fence. It was tough, but i stuck in there. I was proud of myself. I appeared in every single training.

N2D run: Ran for NCC. Round and round, at a dizzying pace. similarly proud of myself.

Orienteering: Went there confident, came back defeated. I ran the slowest, pulled down my team. I blamed it on the uniform, but it was lazyness. Should have showed more passion and hunger. I HATE RUNNING IN BOOTS.

Some stupid team: Shannon picked me in his 'golf' platoon. Was veryveryveryvery happy. Elated.

Camp: Wasnt picked into golf. Sadded. Homesick again. Kinda. Played scoccer with Zaidee and friends.

Sports day: helped by carrying boxes of bottles of water around. Hand was aching. Akin to doing 50 pushups without stopping. Still happy. Of my contribution.

Dunno what day: Did road marshalling. Wore my uniform. With the fancy gloves. So cool. Yea right.

End of Sec 2: I saw myself as having a chance to go for SSC, everything that could be done, i felt that i had done to the best of my ability. I dont want NCC to be a repeat of wushu. OH yes, I scored rather high for the drill test. Was VERY HAPPY.

Sec 3: Re-emergence of thomas after a largely annonymous sec 2. Cos hes NA, 1 staff position gone. The 3 'best cadets' , 3 more positions gone. sucks man. When people say that he is a good cadet, even if he sucks, he is still good. Cos people said that he was good.

NDP: parade. Participated. Them fancy gloves again.

Xinthesis: Almost DIED after being a runner. Ran up run down run to find some stupid teacher, run to warn some stupid teacher. Run around and around. Run change direction run. bah. It was worth my effort. I had, again, contributed.

Trainings: Retarded Jared keep saying i am slack. WHAT THE HELL. This is depressing. Even if i have slack i oso slack less than others. And after he say im slack, i put in more effort, not like i rebel or what. HE STILL SAY im slack. Made me very sad. and disheartened.

Camp: Polished boots for 4hrs the day before. Ironed uniform for 2 hours. Had a good drill test. Scored high. Did my mutual decently. Did not get coporal rank. Due to Chess competition.

Speech day: Same same saikang warrior jobs. While thomas just on and off the curtains. It pays to have relationships.

OBS: They didnt choose me. Donovan, I want a volunteer. I raised my hand, along with the others. He picks 3 people. Them again. Darn.

22/2/08- go read my blog archive. I sound so dumb.

JUNE: went for beijing bicultural trip. MISSED the SPEC COURSE. I thought that there was phase three for me to go. I thought that it would be just postponed. Someone told me. A sir i think. BUT NO, they pulled the rug out under my feet. I would not become a specialist. I had already paid for the beijing bicultural trip. It helped me make up my mind. Dreams vanished. Evaporated. were vanquished. Destroyed. Mutiliated. Came back to see everyone with a sergeant rank and a cookie. While me, pathetic lance coporal. SHIT.

July: SSC, Hoping against hope that i could go. Obviously i wasnt even thought of. U never even go spec course. What the hell. Depressed. Sad. Weiming, randolph, thomas, Zhengling, Nicholas siew. They went, and came back as staff sergeants.

August: Post annoucements. I wanted to cry at that meeting. Wtf. I could have at least gotten an S head if not for 'he is only a lance coporal' After all this i get assistant head of training? and wesley's insistent 'he is only a lance coporal' made me want to bash his face in. Really. I wanted to kick him in the head and gouge out his tongue or something. ASs hole. thomas's gloating was disgusting.

And so, enthuness turned to despair. I was defeated. Saddened. I started to boycott NCC events. Relationship with Randolph turned for the worse. I missed the autumn festival and xinposium. the mid autumn festival was in a fit of rage. Xinposium was due to wallowing in despair.

Plodded around. I still didnt miss training. Just rotted there. No life, nothing. one training, i was taking a platoon. Made them do pushups. Some smart ass came over and said: you can pump them meh?

Alpha camp: Randolph, a APS was practically running the camp. Thomas was OIC. Was PC, with hadi. Did my best. Lead my platoon. Didnt punish them too hard. Donovan and thomas with their prak prak. Idiots. Like they can do much better. Never act= no confidence. Yes. I lack confidence, indeed. Its much easier to scold people when you are a dua pai kia isnt it? after all whoever talk back you can challenge them to a fight outside. While im only a lance coporal. And a studius one at that. Was promoted to 3sg only while hadi was promoted to 2sg. Finally some relief to the ache.

Few weeks after: Hello, Nic khaw arh? this is thomas. Eh the promotion withdraw hor. I later then tell you details.

OMG NCC REALLY SUCKS. Shouting that NCC sucks in class was really a foolish thing to do. I HATE I HATE I HATE NCC. there cant be hate before love.

Promotion was postponed, until march camp.

Sec4: Ncc became a bane to me. To see EZL, WWM and RP huddling together talking was almost like sticking needles into the cornea. Fled away. Did not talk about it. Even though many people are more slack and have higher positions than me.

Adventure quest: Them decided to bestow upon a chance. We are veryveryveryvery grateful indeed. -.- . Gave my best shot. 37 pushups and 50 situps in 2 minutes. beat that.

March camp: me and james slogged the hell out. The rest did next to nothing, except S4 who has a sizable contribution. And OIC. And AIC. Took the alpha for games. I booked out on the first day for a while. Chess competition. Camp passed without much fanfare.

I gave my best (well, almosst my best) for ncc and now, i can say that i have next to no regrets. If the rest are slack and still get good posts. They are accountable to themselves.

Now. Ncc is finally going out. Should I laugh or should i cry?

[[I wrote this at]]*|10:50 PM|