hello. what was i about to say?
hais. i are abit sian lah. sian lah. i actually got alot of sensible stuff that i wanted to post. but now i forgot already. hais hais!
whines whines. ok lah. im gonna live the life according to how i planned to live it. just need some strength. alot more strength. i like praise too much. feeling unwanted sucks.
anyway. i guess being alone feels... okay somewhat.
people also want what its harder for them to get.
hais. i really dislike. my body dislikes being tired man. the feeling is so. tiring! i never knew the meaning of shag until i enlisted. like really really shag man. i guess in the coming months i will feel it even more. tired of being tired. very tired.
another book in day. why do i keep posting on book in day. armee armee. living from book out to book out. quite ok lah. 34 more weeks to go?
actually now that i think about it... idk if i mind going infantry that much. afterall i guess im somewhat achievement motivated. (which is a little bad). of course armour all these will have less walking, be more interesting (imo)... but like infantry is more xiong. so more pride thingum. why do i keep caring about my ego eh. hahaha.
and i miss the times when. i had a mid term goal. the long term goal seems so lofty. i guess i should break it down into like. mangeable bits.
hais lah. living life for an aim. even though eternal is still tiring. cannot take it. this is so tiring. this whole world is tiring. see, im in the tired frame of mind. whatever frame of mind you are in, you can fit in reality/your thinking into it. there lies the importance of your paradigm.
hais booking in liaoooo.
hello hello. today is book in day.
i think, i wrote before of the time saver idea a few years ago or something. time just isnt maximised at all. with what mandantory timeslots for filling up. assuming time is the MOST important entity, shouldnt the whole life revolve around maximising it? hais. its like this 3 hours im going to waste before booking in. could be slot in somewhere during training to ease the sianness. would be alot nicer. haha.
maybe complete flexibility would be awesome. like once we cross the boundaries of time. we can like, speak to people in different time. then again if everyon destroyed their clocks, calenders and watches. there would be no more time! (:
book in... maybe if everyone signed on, army wouldnt feel so chorish. afterall it feels as if you made the choice to be there. the illusion of choice is important!
Perfect power and perfect freedom makes one unaccountable to anything. awesome.
ocs in weeks seems alot shorter than in days. so 35 more weeks to go!
sometimes. not knowing what one wants is always better. everything is about the frame of mind. actually maybe even the frame of mind controls whether you switch frame of minds.
its hard to be in the 'christian' frame of mind all the time. where you think and act according to you know, your beliefs. so easy to stray.
controlling thoughts is such a tiring thing to do.
hai-s hai-s. 9 months quickly pass quickly pass. at least each bookout is like an achievement unlocked now. *smiley face*. only what. ~35 more book outs to comissioning. awesome.
im freaking superficial and impulse driven at times. its like, so annoying. annoying to the point of me feeling like punching myself. like seriously. O:. its like being the person you dislike. the people you judge as noobest. so you end up, during self-reflections, judging yourself as a noob.
Why are chinese so materialistic. i guess having large amounts of material wealth is always fun, for giving away or splurging. if the journey makes it worthwhile, the what is the use of the end point.
eat sleep and be merry.
me is going to be a person i want to be. (not eat sleep and be merry, i think thats a little conflicting with your conclusion).
this world is so fascinating once again. I wish i knew everyone's story, how everyone thought and dealt with the circumstances that they faced. that would give a better understanding of the person. perhaps maybe with the knowledge of everyone's story, the world would be a better place. Maybe. along with the mind reading idea. Because i haven't found many irrational people. Most people are rational, except that due to their circumstances and their worldview (which is possibly due to their circumstances as well), they turn out the way they turn out.
Human psychology/socialogy is really interesting. maybe ill go and read that during my free time.
maybe the intrinsic value of each human is the same. maybe its not the choices. maybe it is the choices but a weird kinda pre-destined choices. can it be argued that only adam and eve had free will?
and i keep judging people's value. im terrible. even though i do not judge on like appearances .etc. the (so called superficial stuff). My criterion is biased too. makes me a biased person. im sure others judge me too anyway. but in anycase i will try to stop judging.
anyway. weapon handling is tiring. im outta here.
hello.
this is probably the last slackish week kinda thing. ohwell. at least a short week. all i care is the next book out. assuming i do not get any kinda duty. oh what a way to start the year ahead. and the year after that too.
look at the stars.
i still wonder what am i going to do in my life. the whole god leading thing is taking a rather large while... how boring.
i hope that i can play alot the next weekend. need to play enough to run till the next book out. ugh. aiyah rambling already. before post got alot of ideas when actually posting cant seem to remember nuts.
ohwell. Having such a weird take on life is getting to some people.
Closest thing to reblogging i guess. Haha. Fear. How bout im afraid of fearing?