[[How has been]]

Sunday, July 29, 2012

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sometimes it is nice just to have people sit with you.

I had a dream, that i was alone, cold, sitting alone. Then a friend came by. and i smiled, the friend returned the smile. Then the friend came to sit beside me. same sitting position, back against the wall, knees close to chest. then we just sat in silence. for awhile.

i think i belong to some old pai. as in clan. i think maybe thats why parting is so bad. i always try to build to last. living in the future. maybe i should go 'super future mode' and freaking just focus on heaven.

but then again i judge, so yeah. most of time time i might not be happy if it is not the people that i think are worth it spending their time with me.. ironic. i have reduced my judging though! progress!

everyone wants to find their worth. its just what their self worth is based on that is different. and that is all that matters or is it? maybe the amount of self worth regardless of its base is more matterific. ohwell. you can decide then tell me.

[[I wrote this at]]*|7:02 PM|

Sunday, July 22, 2012

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ohwell. of the remaining 2/3s of my platoon, half has left. means... 1/3 left? and many of those i was closer to left.

this being sad is just an appreciation of the passage of time. its like a token of respect given to what i think should be sad about. get it? sounds confusing eh. ahhh. appreciating things aernt that good you know... it might be better to go into ignorant mode.

passing of time, passing of time. i havent chronicled and archived everything and yet time speeds on.
ahh, i think perfection is not attainable by far le. why am i so fallen... ok bye.

[[I wrote this at]]*|7:28 PM|

Monday, July 16, 2012

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hello. there is a keith woh here. and i cleverly delayed the blogging to another bookin day. so yah. same tinted posts.

haish. its been awhile since i wanted to be happy. but i guess its rather hard as well, the feeling of wanting to be apathetic towards emotions and hence remaining in a rather prolonged state of sianness or something like that. at least i was happy for awhile. ohwell. back to where it all begins.

life is rather pointless. as mentioned a hundred times before. it all goes in cycles. and this cycle of thought brings be back to talking about the cycles and uh, pointless lives. the problem is... identified but not really acted on. doing is much different from thinking. ohwellllllllllllllll. this keith is very distracting.

actually for all this whining about army, i dont really know what i will do without army. perhaps it is for the better that there is army. freedom is nice to have? maybe. not. too much choice is also difficult. perhaps the best is no choice but the road is nice. is one of the probable choice one could have chosen. but that would exclude army. cos nobody will choose the army. so much for commitment to defend the thingum. i would conclude the NE has failed on me.

lazy blog le bai.

[[I wrote this at]]*|6:17 PM|

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

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cdedcdefgacb

cef cef cef cef cefedec

ohman oh man. oh man oh man.

i think this is post 800.

I used to think this world was nice. That i was good. That i was doing well.
Hais. apparently not. And i, being the dumbass i am. dragged this post until another book in day. haish. why am i like this. im making things worse. i hope i can improve as a person. some control lapse yesterday and today. try my best not to again.

i wanna be as close to god as possible. please let me try my best to do that.

[[I wrote this at]]*|6:14 PM|

Sunday, July 1, 2012

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e a b b c c.

another book in day. except that today is really early. and i havent taken my nap. that is needed for scorpion king survival. why does the army take up so much of my time? totally redundant question actually.

hais. scorpion king is coming up. i kinda wish to get through it quickly and get over it but still... the thought about being tired and dirty and uncomfortable isnt really a nice thing to look forward to. why cant we all just stay in our comfort zones?

anyway, in recent news. i discovered another flaw in my thinking. especially the reason why i talk to people. meaning the reason i talk to people is not right. meaning i have no reason to talk to people. but then its still out of habit. usually still do talk in the end.

but if i follow my logic. ugh. live becomes a really depressing place. what is there to gain in this world? if effort cannot be directed towards the stuff that can be gained, then what is the use of effort. but is non-directed effort better than slacking away? i think so, but only marginally.

whats the point of keeping friendships? perhaps being in my own bubble will be good enough. i like my bubble. even people with similar bubbles have some differences. maybe i care too much.

maybe im too, i shant even use idealist. maybe im too wishful. maybe i could just atrophy away.

making things too complicated. alot of what ifs and whys are actually not needed to answer. whosoever said that every question has to have a answer? sometimes i wish to just be simple. and not chase after the wind. maybe the final conclusion is that there is no conclusion...

[[I wrote this at]]*|4:02 PM|