[[How has been]]

Monday, August 27, 2012

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image. image. everything is about image. organisations, people and so on are so concerned about the image they exude and whatnot.

not to say im entirely free from giving too much shit about my image. i am still selfish enough to want myself to be seen as good in the eyes of others..

but i think for organisations, this is a top-down flaw. the upper management has been harping so much on the image that the whole organisation is wired to be overly-focused on the image. i mean being viewed positively by the public is important, essential and a worthy goal. but the focus should not be on the presentation, but on the substance. afterall it is near impossible barring a slander campaign or something like that to be viewed negatively when the substance is positive. like it is impossible for a really kind person to be viewed as cruel. of course changing the substance is the harder part. it is much easier to merely project or even somewhat fake a positive image.

i think the main question is what is the point of having a image that is better than what is the truth. i think i have come to conclude that the truth is the best in all situations (somewhere sometime ago i think archives somewhere). let us not go into the situation where you have a worse image than the truth. idk. i find that projecting a better image is somewhat misleading and will most probably lead to disappointments. or might even con people. such as me when i choose to join ncc. disappointments suck so much. perhaps... im going to book in and not complete the post. so yeah. food for thought. bye.

[[I wrote this at]]*|8:15 PM|

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im sitting here all by myself just trying to think of something to do.. i try to think of something anything.

hais, the posting on book in days really subtly, or maybe not so subtly, tint the texture of the text.

survival mode liao. which is really close to man mode. my mind doesnt really focus during book out. it just jumps from thought to thought. from channel to channel. as if as there are many trains (of thought lol) moving in different directions and im just jumping off 1 speeding train to another.

i love the thought of stuff like the stars at night, waterfalls, rivers, flowers. not only are they all like, about nature, they all give a sense of peace and tranquility. a sense of an abundance of time. something that is sorely lacking in many peoples life. where is my abundance of time. which brings me back to the army. in the army, one simply cannot afford to think. i like wasting time away. just reading some book or perhaps completing some new game or something like that. like a positive experience that somehow impacts me, however little it may be.

the spectre of the book in/ whatever exercise is coming up just kinda affects the mood. i guess im somewhat desensitised to it already. like the dread is alot less. more of like i just want to get over it. i can feel like ive been in the army long enough such that it just permeates through. cant wait to re enter civilian life though. cant wait.

i love wasting book out time. all the way to book in. it just feels good yet a waste. i guess only ns guys understand this...

lying on the bed doing nothing really feels super good. something i wish i can do all day. maybe without army i would feel super sian to do that. so thanks army for making life outside alot more enjoyable. yesterday was such a nice day for a walk around upper pierce reservoir. just that the fbo was kinda, you know, heavy and in the way.

i dislike lying so much.

now, onto the more complex topics of human relations. everyone wants someone to lean on? true? but the someone to lean on seems to always want something in return. i need to see the motivesss. actually, no, why do i need. nothing really matters. nothing matters. except for the primary.

why people like final fantasy is very easy to figure it out. Is a simple fact and is what most of the fans want.we live in a mess up world and we want to have a little of adventure out of the normal realm and the only way to get it is if we immerse in a game that have that what we seek. if you don't believe it , after playing a game like ff or any other fantasy one, the first thought you will have is "man that was a good game i wish i can do the same".
-ripped from youtube comment

[[I wrote this at]]*|12:48 PM|

Monday, August 20, 2012

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whats there to feel? nothing left to feel. nothing but dread. i guess im a worrier. im worried like crap a bout JC visit but not sure what else i can/have to do. ahhhhhhh. and im scared im more incompetent that i would accept for myself.

i am really really really really too selfish, too of myself. it is so hard to rid the individualism. i realised that everything i do is for myself. even practicing the religion. the aim is wrong, the motive is wrong even if the actions can be justified to be right... what is needed is a close walk with god. or jesus. speaking of which i should go research on the trinity. Becauseeee it seems fundamental to the christian faith and seems to have some, debate surrounding it.

哭的时候没人哄，于是学会了坚强；怕的时候没人陪，于是学会了勇敢；烦的时候没人问，于是学会了承受；累的时候没人可以依靠，于是学会了自立。一个人时，如果不坚强，软弱给谁看。-Ripped from sherry's facebook update.

[[I wrote this at]]*|10:37 PM|

Friday, August 10, 2012

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Did you know that turtles often choke on plastic bags, mistaking them for jellyfish? If you see a bag blowing around, pick it up, and write "SO SORRY TURTLES NOT FOOD!!" on it. Our shelly friends will read the warning and avoid a deadly mistake. Don't fret if they ignore your words and die anyway. It is nature's way of dealing with turtle depression. Turtles are very long-lived, and must endure the cruel joke called life for sometimes hundreds of years. If you come across a turtle nest, stomp all the eggs before they hatch and spare them the agonies of existence. STOMP STOMP STOMPITY STOMP.
from cracked.com

here we go again.

paul said that his conscience is clear but it doesnt prove that he is really innocent. then about us without clear consciences... how!!!

hours are ticking down. it was like having friends.

i think doing good to feel good is good. ooh. the curse of the word good. haha. wonderful vagueness. how bout i think doing something virtuous with the aim of feeling satisfied is not morally incorrect.

of course it doesnt mean its morally correct. ah cutting myself slack again. always doing that. everytime the going gets tougher lower my own expectations, thats what ive been doing recently.

and in the endlessly busy world, nobody notices whats going around. whats going on to a particular person at a particular time.all one notices is himself.

you must be an angel. no longer a stranger. i am a danger.

ok i dk what im talking. 1.5 hours to leaving house for CAMP! cant wait for it. er. kinda.

*EDIT: let us be ready!

[[I wrote this at]]*|6:15 PM|

Monday, August 6, 2012

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the thought of needing to go back to camp sucks like shit. i already feel living in there as, you know, future. i guess im really scared of castaway and brunei and hunter and all that heavy load carrying. time for some shifting in perceptions.

[[I wrote this at]]*|11:56 PM|