[[How has been]]

Thursday, October 30, 2014

[[Stock taking of university life thus far and uh, things to do]]

First resolution: I will quit blogging lazily. Meaning to say, I will put more effort into my posts so as to enhance clarity for the reader. In other words, I will write not just for my own 'self-expression' but for other people's understanding. Basically, I will raise the bar higher for posts in terms of quality for the reader (that is you).

The why: Idea is that I ought to gain some self improvement in terms of writing and ordering of thoughts. I want that improvement. So this blog is to have more than just the purpose of chronicling, of trying to immortalise that which is finite and transient, namely my thoughts.

Second resolution: I think I have had enough of exploring around and wasting time in uni. This is THE LIFE. I think at my current rate of living is rather THE LIFE where it's like, slacking to a very high power. But that is not really what I want from university. I want to be the overman. The one that overcomes all and thrives rather than merely surviving. And I know that minimal time wastage cannot be done with 'minimal time wastage' in mind. It has to be replaced. The time wasting stuff has to be replaced by something that ought to be done. So henceforth I want to devote more time to writing and to Christ. Specifics are kinda out but yeah.

I think I have developed a greater appreciation for this opportunity to study in NUS and in Tembusu. When I came in I had this bitterness. This sense of I came to NUS because I missed the opportunity to study overseas because I made some mistakes. Frankly speaking, I thought I was too good for NUS, especially FASS (mostly in part due to the low cut-off and the perception that it is a dumping ground). I sound elitist and proud all that but well , truth is the truth, I was that. I try to change.

I must say that this NUS experiences has taught me some. And I think God's hand is certainly throughout this experience. It has been humbling and I find myself quite enjoying this environment. I think 'Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind, regard one another as more important than yourselves' is something that I ought set my sights upon for the rest of this term.

This post sounds so boring due to 正经ness of it all.

[[I wrote this at]]*|10:40 PM|

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

[[The troubles that plague the world]]

So recently, I have heard the troubles of several.

Note: When one doesn't want to do something, one finds a million and one ways to get distracted .etc. But you already knew that.

These troubles cover a broad spectrum. And I can see my own troubles within. Perhaps they help by providing a comparison. But then again one should not compare for the sake of feeling superior. It just lenses things a little.

Sometimes after doing too much philo of mind especially, things a little hazy. Like even when typing the previous paragraph I thought of what if others were computer simulations? That wouldn't make any sense.

Each generation sees the problems of the previous that it tries to avoid and hence creates new problems of their own that their future generation will try to avoid. On and on the cycle goes. Perhaps if nobody dies and if the world never forgets, we will truly progress. Perhaps that is why tablets/ papyrus/ books/ microsoft word/ cloud is so important. Establishes a sense of permanence that transcends time.

Argh, incoherent babble again. Perhaps I should blog in the morning where sleep isn't exerting the pressure it does on clearing things. It becomes clearing, rather than doing.

[[I wrote this at]]*|11:24 PM|

Sunday, October 26, 2014

[[Abandoned philo essay? ]]

Hi,

I shall attempt to argue that an Omniscient and Omnipotent being (denoted by omni2) is definitely Omnibenevolent (omni3).

Omnibenevolence is defined as morally best.

1. Suppose omni2 exists

2. There is no moral standard independent of omni2

3. Omni2 knows what actions are morally better than others

4. Omni2 can take all paths of actions

5. Omni2 will rationally take the best path of action

6. Therefore, whatever way omni2 acts is omnibenevolent

Moral perfection is deemed by God. Benevolence is how omni2 acts.

Basically, if he choose what we deem to be ‘evil’ it will be morally best. To the skeptic that asks if there could be a world where killing babies is what omni2 could choose, the response will be that in that world killing babies would be morally best.

Obviously it is half done.

[[I wrote this at]]*|10:03 PM|

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

[[On sianness]]

So, I like this ubiquitous word called sian.

In the past, I have had this bouts of intensely sian feelings. I used to say that I was down with the sian/sad sickness. It was periods when I just felt inexplicably sad and moody and down and stuff. Usually, I knew that it wasn't entirely inexplicable. There was usually a direct correlation to things that I hadn't done such as study for exams, patch up some friendships, do certain important and confidential things.

Point is, the sad/sian sickness doesn't help overcoming the obstacle. Usually it just prolongs the misery. And misery prolonged festers and grows.

And usually you try to lean on something. That is because you are afflicted, and afflicted persons usually have to depend on something that is not diseased. But there is nothing really substantial to lean on. Leaning on another outside of your family just makes you seem rather... needy. I am not saying that one should not lean on your community of friends, but perhaps, not so much, especially for something that I consider rather trivial. And besides, friends and other people are not unshakable.

Nowadays, I know that it is God that I should lean on. He is the perfect candidate for taking weight when one is under attack. Well, I guess perfect in his own way. For me if he were physical it would perhaps be better for me. But what do I know, I am just a human.

However, its hard to lean on God. How do you lean on God? I can hug my bolster, I cannot hug God. There lies a gulf between theory and practical. That I am unable to breach. Yet.

[[I wrote this at]]*|1:51 PM|

Sunday, October 19, 2014

[[On people calling things cute. Especially cats and dogs. And babies]]

Hi,

So last week, I witnessed an interesting phenomenon. A group of people were discussing how cute certain animals were. To be sure I have heard of this happening on the internet. About 'cat people' and 'dog people'. And how they waste countless amounts of man-hours staring at stills of domesticated pets that probably have genetic defects selected for due to their cuteness. However, to see this in real life is kinda queer to me. And to add males into the picture (hahaha), makes things even queerer.

Personally, I do not get it at all. What is this much ado over cuteness? I cannot find any good justification for this. What is so unique about this attribute called 'cuteness'? Why does 'beauty' or even 'intelligence' get passed over for 'cuteness'? Perhaps one reason is that if you look at beautiful people all day people might think you are a pervert. Ok, I dont get it at all.

Anyway, Chiable told me to develop my thoughts better. Perhaps I ought to stop indulging in 'self-expression' of my messy mind and instead focus on writing with a purpose. With the reader, with communication as considerations. Something like 'art for society' against 'art for arts sake', a topic that I just covered in Malay studies.

Interesting much. I shall think about it.

[[I wrote this at]]*|11:37 PM|

Friday, October 10, 2014

[[]]

Hi,

I am feeling slightly sian. Perhaps it is a realisation of time passing me by. Hais, University will be gone before I know it. I cannot merely survive. I must thrive. There is no point in surviving.

Is it good to only click with people that like me? I must answer this question.

Nowadays, I realise that I start to dislike large group gatherings more and more. I find it such a waste of time. The conversation is bad, mundane and superficial. Laughter is occasionally forced, as are smiles and engagement.

Is it bad to avoid such?

I'd rather meet and talk to people one on one or in small groups. At least I can control the conversation more with less concern about social norms. And meeting people can always be done... Always.

But perhaps, I do pre-judge people of whether they are worthy of my time and attention (as if as my time and attention is worth much lol.) Perhaps I ought to stop it. Perhaps.

[[I wrote this at]]*|11:39 PM|

Monday, October 6, 2014

[[]]

Hi all,

Why does one flirt with temptation? Why do tutors not reply my emails? Why is it so hazy outside?What is pure love? What is for breakfast tomorrow? Such are the important questions of life.

On free will. On whether we get to choose how we choose ad infinitium.

Recently in philosophy class, there was a discussion about free will. To be free, some philosopher proposed, to be free entirely, one had to choose how one chose. That is to say, one had to chose what influenced one's decision. And thereafter they had to chose what influenced that choice. Which is impossible. So he says there is no such thing as free will.

I think that is rather lame. Nobody gives a shit about that kind of free will. It is unpractical and ought to be banished to the realm of jokes and astute observations made when drunk. Why ought we care about an infinite regress when the fact is that we choose? I rather say that everyone has free will in all things. Like, there is always the choice to die. Just the level of choices.

On international recognition being the prerequisite for existing as a state. I think that is a load of bladderash that allows 'military strong' countries to bully the weak. I think I have mentioned this before. This whole interactions between states is very smelly. Id rather not dirty myself with them (surprise! after the attack on fluffy free will).

[[I wrote this at]]*|10:55 PM|