[[How has been]]

Thursday, February 26, 2015

[[]]

Hello everybody!

~~Shall I put a tagboard back?~~ Tagboard is back! Lets hope theres not too much spam eh, it gets quite annoying. And reading through the old tags, there is a part where Dabo and I and some others argued over Christianity. Mans, such memories. Do hope all are well now. At least I havent started reading my old posts like some nostalgic old man.

The purpose of the tagboard is for you, that is the readers, to leave your comments and if possible, to generate insightful discussion, if you feel like. Otherwise, saying hi like what jing did is fine too.

Anyway, I saw a post on 9gag about how you only get to choose one line in life and with each passing second, the 'other lives you could lead' are dying. This reminded me about how I use to think, that there was an 'optimal life', a path of things to do through time that was the absolute best and like the further you veer from it, the less optimal you become. However, Larry (formerly from church) told me it is more like that of a plane. Where there are many right paths (even though there are many wrong paths too).

Another point is that some readings are in such convoluted old english that much of the trouble is in deciphering what that person actually means. If only we could have 'modernised' versions that would be nice. Or perhaps I can make a career out of modernising ancient texts. And while we are at it, could we perhaps define certain terms or make a language for philosophy so that distinct concepts can be differentiated properly. Like maybe Hume's concept of mind can be called Humind. Or something.

Main point is tagboard is back. And I am having trouble studying.

Eh, after struggling to study and reading my exam-oriented post I can see one really powerful saving grace for the exam structure as it is now- it really motivates one to study extrinsically. When the intrinsic is low and being swamped by distractions, extrinsic motivation is what makes most people tick. Somehow I view this as short term. One cannot live life forever based on lameass extrinsic motivations such as examination results, you will end up hollow if so. It is a stick that prods my lazy ass into moving. But I cannot only move when there is a stick. Otherwise what difference have I from a basal animal?

[[I wrote this at]]*|9:03 PM|

Monday, February 23, 2015

[[I don't know how to study]]

My goodness, all my life I have been studying for examinations. How to ace the stupid test and exams.
I realised that I have this instinct, this basal instinct to streamline my studying. How do you think I managed to get the results thus far? By reading every thing that I am interested about a subject? Clearly not. You see an objective- to score well and you hone in on the objective- study what is needed to score well. It is a well-oiled process that guarantees the best possible results (for effort, that is).
But what now? After re-evaluating my priorities and deciding that grades are to be secondary to learning I realise that I don't know how to study. Or maybe I cannot study without feeling like 'im wasting my time studying things that might not be coming out for exam'. Oh the horror. Clearly, then I have not re-evaluated my priorities. Or perhaps I have, but 'learning' is non-quantifiable and tangible even personally, on an individual level and 'exam grades' are clearly so to society and the world.
I dunno man, I personally think there is something wrong here. Maybe you can tell me what is wrong.

[[I wrote this at]]*|6:38 PM|

Sunday, February 22, 2015

[[On trust in God]]

Hi all,

Well so, I am not really looking forward to recess week. In fact, I am not looking forward to any passing of time.

I guess this shows that I am rather content with life. The last time I felt this way was after ORD before I got my university application results. Life was good then, I had nothing to fret about. Life is good now, I have nothing to fret about either.

Of course nothing to fret about doesn't mean that life is perfect. I obviously am still working towards stuff. I just find that the journey now is decently pleasant.

Somehow I feel that I have bought, with my university decision, 4 years of postponing the choice of my vocation. It looms in the background, like something ominous waiting to come. As much as I am certain that God will lead, it weighs on my mind much for I do want to control my future too (as much as I can). Maybe I should trust more. But it is so scary man. I guess faith is more than just saying yes while building massive safety nets to catch you if you fall.

Now my very concerned parents will be thinking that I am setting myself up to fail and using God's name to do that. I think there is a difference between trusting God and depending on your own strength. There is also a difference between being foolish and trusting God (lets hope I am able to use the word foolish, I dont think of myself as very wise but I hope I can, at least, draw the distinction on foolishness). Let me try to explain how I think. And I hope you, my dear reader, can follow the distinctions I draw. (In rich dad poor dad, intelligence is the ability to make finer distinctions and knowledge is presumably finger distinctions.)

Lets take the case of buying insurance (which is, you know, relevant to my family). If one trusts God to provide, there is no need for excessive insurance. The question then arises as to what is considered excessive. Obviously excessive cannot be a arbitrary number. Excessive, I think, depends on our intention. Is it for safety, for a sense of security? (This sounds absurd eh, insurance is surely for safety, for a sense of security.) If so, I think it is excessive. Well then, it seems that I am advocating a rather radical stance.

Of course I am not saying that we ought to play dice with fate and trust that God is the dice master. God is the dice master but playing dice is not the way to go. I think we ought not put our security in anything but God, and at the same time we ought not use it as an excuse for laziness. So here I am trying to propose a sort of trade-off. One ought to do things that demonstrate a trust in God unless it is an excuse for laziness. A negative example of this would be to trust in God to assign you to a school because you cannot be bothered to do your research.

Well another thing that can escape this loophole, and I think, recognised by my dad is that you could do it out of a sense of self righteousness. This is a clear no-go. So lets close that loophole and say that One ought to do things that demonstrate a trust in God unless it is an excuse for laziness and not for self righteousness. So obviously you do not say that you want to give away your money to Charity to get some recognition for piety.

Actually, at this juncture, I think I cannot plug all the loopholes. So perhaps a positive statement would be better. Hence we get to: One ought to trust in God in accordance with the Bible. So yes, one ought not buy insurance but instead give the money away to the poor out of love and compassion for them. Or to invest the money to give more money away.

I shall do another post on my stance on riches. It is related. Maybe tomorrow.

[[I wrote this at]]*|1:16 AM|

Friday, February 20, 2015

[[]]

Hi all,

So I am having a runny nose and I have been sneezing. Why? Because I have eaten too much CNY food, especially BBQ roasted pork. And today's lunch was really fried and delicious. Well, I guess I knew this would happen. The lesson here is that, um, some things are worth paying the price for?

During chinese new year, we meet relatives and spend time visiting each other. I dunno man, is there an inherent intrinsic bond between people connected by blood (or marriage)?
Pure reason together with some individualistic thinking would say no- each person is randomly placed into a family not of the individual's choosing and has the right to choose which relationships to cultivate. Perhaps relationships are only valuable insofar it is a mutual choice and nobody choose family. So family bonds would be valuable if they are both wanted but not in and of themselves.
Most cultures would say yes- families are kin and kin somehow, just has, this bond. Cue idioms such as blood is thicker than water. (I don't really know how to articulate culture's argument other than 'it just is') Maybe it can be traced somewhat to the tribes protecting each other or something. (If you buy that, that is.)
Science would say- you know, there are DNA similarities between offspring and siblings, so perhaps there is genetic empirically verifiable similarities that can translate to value in relationships between family (however, this route excludes marriage so, in-laws are excluded).
Christianity would say (I think), that the family is of value. The church is instructed to be a family in Christ.

For me, I think it is a mix of almost all these 4. Im sick, dont expect too much from this post. lol.

[[I wrote this at]]*|10:49 PM|

Thursday, February 12, 2015

[[On perfection]]

So yesterday was the end of ICG international chess and tembusu, that is, my college, won both Chinese and International chess.

Yet I was annoyed like crazy, for losing my last game of chess, international chess, mind you. Against arguably the strongest player in the tournament, and after quite an even game. A game that I can probably be excused for losing, especially given that I do not play much i-chess. And my team won in the end (despite my loss). And I won all my other matches.

But I kept focusing on this 'blemish', this one particular move that I could have moved better. And I analysed it a little, it distracted me from sleeping a little and all that.

I guess it is human nature to seek perfection. However, upon reflection, I think life is not about seeking perfection. Fact: We are not perfect. For Christians, we were once perfect but we sinned and were tainted by it. For the rest I guess it is rather self evident anyway. Perfection is unattainable.

So ought we not seek perfection? Some will say that even if it is unattainable it ought to be what we aim and seek. To that, I will say yes and no. We ought to be as perfect as we possibly can, but we ought not obsess over it. We are not trying to play the perfect game of chess, life is more like a game of bowling, a single player bowling. Where after each ball we ought to look forward and try our best, not lament the pins still standing for that distracts.

Screw ups are fine, just don't do it again. Even if you do it again, don't do it again again.

[[I wrote this at]]*|10:12 PM|

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

[[A perhaps unoriginal defence against the utility monster]]

I have no idea if another has mentioned this before. Given the obviousness of this I assume yes, but I am going to still mention this.

Perhaps it is not just the law of diminishing returns that can assert that further increments of the same good will return less utility. One can also assert that the utility of one (lets say pleasure), requires more to raise when it is at a higher level.

This is rather simple, basically you do not view the utility function of an individual as a straight line graph with more 'goods' proportionally leading to more 'utility'. It is absurd. There is, I am sure, a certain amount of maximum happiness (just for simplification) and a certain amount of maximum pain that beyond which, further addition is negligible. And leading up to these maximum happiness and pain it would slowly plateau out.

What do I mean by this?

Most people know the diminishing marginal returns for a single good- the 2nd apple you get makes you less happy than the 1st, the 3rd less than the 2nd, so on and so forth. But isn't it blatantly obvious that the reason for this is due to needs/preference satisfaction (:O bringing in new terminology, terrible terrible). Hahaha basically this works across categories. So if you have 10 apples and you get your 1st orange you will be less happy than if you have 1 apple and get your 1st orange. So on, and so forth. Similarly, if you have two bullet wounds in you and have your tooth plucked out it will be negligible to just having your tooth plucked out.

And, I think, if people are able to prove that a people's maximum happiness exists and the function is rather, inelastic (wow bringing in more concepts), basically I am saying that there is no infinitely happy, only maximally happy and to get to maximally happy would require way more resources than to be 90% maximally happy and I do give that the maximum levels can be unequal but on the whole, should follow some sort of normal distribution, I think. The utilitarian situation will be much more 'equal'. Not that equality is great. But yeah.

[[I wrote this at]]*|2:30 PM|

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

[[Such lifes]]

Hi all!

So, like I said, I have been rather busy. So busy that I haven't had the time to waste on youtube and whatnot other 9gag-ish, armorgames websites.

ICG, that is, inter college games has been fun. It also has been nice that we have been winning in almost all the games we play even though the finals are not over. Glory to God! It is hard as crazy to give glory to God when the self wants it so much. I so much want to say that I'm good and all that. But yes, God that enables all, sustains all.

Ohwell, on the other hand, I flunked my arabic test. Studied for like 2 hours plus. I guess I guessed the format of the test wrongly. I now totally understand the pain of going into a test and totally not knowing anything. And I also totally understand the pains of China scholars not understanding english. Really, I have never sat in a test that bad since like p3 听写. Still, I guess, glory to God!

I didn't get to go home that weekend. Neither did I get to go to church. How sad is that. I'm worried that my grandfather will die. If he dies at the end of this week it will be exceptionally sad. Lets hope not eh.

My mods are weird. Im rather behind, sorta, in the rest of my mods. Not that I do not understand, but it could be much easier, much better if I had done my due diligence. But then again, I would much rather be in my current situation than having spent the last few weeks mugging my head off and scoring 'well'.

So, tomorrow is my short rest day. I do wanna take advantage of it.

[[I wrote this at]]*|11:26 PM|

Thursday, February 5, 2015

[[]]

Hi all, I have been rather caught up with stuff, mostly ICG-ish stuff and a little of the E-IHG (Basically, competitions that being part of tembusu somewhat entails). So because of that, I am lagging a little in schoolwork. Stress, stress. Not really luh.
Anyway, God has been good to me. I am content. I am content to be a little sad and yet joyful. How nice it is.
Perhaps I can work to simplify what people of the past wrote. Such as have new adaptation of ancient works that are convoluted and speaking in an archaic tongue. Perhaps it will be of more use or in more demand than my own works. Whatever. I will write more some day!

[[I wrote this at]]*|11:46 PM|

Sunday, February 1, 2015

[[On making decisions]]

So, I have been in kind of a slump for the past week. In terms of getting things done. I don't really see a superb point in reading all my readings. Don't really see a point in being so on-the-ball, when I think the final mugging is the main influencer of the final grade.

But then, I think, God wants me to not waste my time away. If I were in full control of my time I could keep lowering my expectations. What is my time for, if not to achieve my aims? So if my aim is to waste time then I can easily just waste time. Justifying to the self is way easy. Easiest game ever.

But if God, who owns my time, doesn't want me to waste my time, I don't really have an excuse anymore. So, I'm sorry God, for wasting my time. Help me not waste time and think of what you want me to do.

[[I wrote this at]]*|12:09 AM|