[[How has been]]

Tuesday, September 29, 2015

[[A whole new world]]

Come follow Christ! Make the radical decision to maximise Christ in your life. Once you do it, tell me, and we can journey together, a great adventure.

Follow Christ and explore a whole new world:
A world rich in 'being' not just in doing. Where your identity is guaranteed and your deeds are an outpouring of said identity. Where you are who you are created to be not what you have done or who you know.
A world that is not selfish nor self serving. Where the aim is to be less of you and more of God. Have you heard of such a thing? To be less of me. I guess this concept exists in some form in honour, loyalty to country .etc. yet all these still have a hint of self somewhere. Do you not find self-glorification so banal sometimes, so meaningless.
A world that is full of purpose. A purpose far greater than anything else, of doing what we were created to do.

Other than these main things there are other auxiliaries
I guess you do get a group of people to go through life with, united in something greater than self. Like a band of brothers serving the country together. Except that this has girls (lolol) and is serving something greater than the country.

Aiya, originally this post supposed to be more profound and longer. But point is, my beloved friends, come join me leh! It is like the most exciting life aim to have and like, greatest adventure. Whats more, it is a co-op adventure. We can play together and help each other.

[[I wrote this at]]*|9:55 AM|

Saturday, September 19, 2015

[[]]

So, it is friday night again. Well well well, what have we here?

Idk man. I think these few weeks have been going quite well. Of course they could be better (here I am not supposing determinism nor the necessity thing). But I am content. Content in God?

Fridays seem to be a time of reflection. A time of reflection that can be distracted by pokemon and other trivial matters way too easily.

So I have two things that I guess I am rather thankful for. For my laptop only screwing up intermittently, and for hopefully, the haze going away. I guess bad things could happen theoretically and I, hopefully, will still be thankful.

Sigh. Maybe after the tembusu house games tomorrow I can write something more substantial.

[[I wrote this at]]*|12:25 AM|

Saturday, September 12, 2015

[[]]

Past week has been a little more tiring. Perhaps it is the haze. I feel my mind has haze. I cannot concentrate, cannot do the work that I need to do.

But Christ is enough for me. What is homework? What are friends?

Things that are good to have, but not essential.

[[I wrote this at]]*|11:01 PM|

Saturday, September 5, 2015

[[The loneliness]]

I do feel a little lonely. During the nights. Nobody to hang around with just for the sake of company. Not that I ever had. Often times, perhaps, I want a person(s) whom I like (not romantically though romantically is the most obvious) much to just be around. To be occasionally up for like, spontaneous wasting of time.

The malady of being alone? Fear of missing out?

I see people around me being busy. Bustling from one thing to another. Fretting about school and all that. Am I a minority, a minority that feels like he has time to spare for people but there are no people? To be sure it is not that there are no social events to join. I hardly like these. I now have no forced time with people and, most of the time, would not take much initiative (though this is changing) to be with people. I want to be with people whom I have already deemed to be good for spending time with.

Yet in all these, it is not human relationships that should be at the foremost. They certainly cannot be the main priority. God, help me feel your love for me?

Maybe i'll become like my Dad after all...

Originally this was writen (a few days ago) unpublished but, if this helps anyone, here it is.

[[I wrote this at]]*|10:42 PM|

Thursday, September 3, 2015

[[Snippets from classes]]

There was a video in class, of this guy that repeatedly retells the same story, of an encounter with a famous(?) person over and over again. He weaves it into any conversation subtly. It is, so to say, a piece of his identity. What is the story that I tell over and over again? What is the thing that I seem to want to present to people, the thing I want people to know about me much? Upon some reflection...

My philo classmate said he was a sucker for human approval. So am I, so am I, so are we. In game theory (from my PS lecture), nobody wants to be a sucker. Yet we are all suckers.

Today I prayed for the proud people to fall, that they may know God through falling. But falling is painful. Identifying yourself as proud is also painful.

And I felt alone. I feel alone surrounded by people. I scarcely feel God though I guess I know God is with me. The craving for human connection and intimacy? I think I do need somebody. Help!

I must say I am really grateful for my keyboard not being spoilt after it behaved in a spoilt-like manner. I now treat the computer with much more care and am happy every time I on my computer and it is not spoilt instead of taking it for granted. Repairing a laptop is a burden.

Perhaps this is a good illustration a la daily bread. Perhaps our keyboard can be our lives. We were spoilt and now we are not thanks to Jesus. Should be this attitude of constant joyfulness and gratefulness with which we view our salvation. Humans tend to take things for granted. To be habituated. Perhaps it is one of our fatal flaws or maybe it is a curse from sin?

Really the self in me must die. Not in the sense of nobodiness, the post modern whatnot of relativism. But in the sense of being subsumed under something that is of worth. I in myself have no worth. Something super counter-cultural but I believe to be true. It is the proper way to view yourself, myself. It is easy (and here I shall qualify by saying it is my opinion) to be counter-cultural and not go to club, not smoke, not drink. But that barely scratches the surface. Where is the dying to self, taking up the cross and following Christ?

Of course it is radical. Radical it must be. Not hipster, radical (lol).

I really think that saying other people are unenlightened, stupid, blinded .etc. is a weak weak way of justifying your stance. But there is no choice, I think. This is so self-evident to me, almost as if it is a natural light, if the light came from the Bible. Society cannot shape the gospel, the gospel must shape society.

[[I wrote this at]]*|12:46 AM|