[[How has been]]

Wednesday, December 23, 2015

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Life is hard/ game is hard.

Sin is crazy. Crazily difficult to avoid. Sin has been overcome, yes, but my sinful flesh is still sinful. It feels innate leh, this sin. Innate in my very bones and all. I know Jesus has washed away my sin. Think this transforming of me to one that hates sin from the inside is still a work in great progress. This does not in anyway validate sin though.

Yknow, I had thought that I was making progress on this front. I still think that I have made progress but much less than I thought, and like, really by God's grace de lor. I think the spiritual disciplines are really a good protection from sin. Like the armour of God. Take off liao surely get struck with the flaming arrows of the enemy. And have to go through rehabilitation, healing.

Yet like really, Christ has conquered sin. Through Christ, sin is defeated. Really has to be more than just me warring against sin, but Christ in me.

Oh to see the dawn.

[[I wrote this at]]*|11:41 AM|

Friday, December 18, 2015

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So, I just came back from SWAT 2015.

Oh would you look at the time. Holidays are almost over. This is ridiculous. I guess, this is a better alternative than griping about, yknow, what inspired this blog url. Maybe this provides some limited evidence for better stewardship of time. Long way to go though, especially cos I keep forgetting what I have planned. Need to keep a planner of sorts.

I think, I have made progress in following Christ (through Christ's work, of course). Still a long way to go though. I think this camp made me realise that pride in particular needs much work. Isit proud to say that I am proud? Maybe.

Of groups being impermanent. I mean, each time you go to a camp, you meet people for that few days. Perhaps take the first few days to open up but thereafter discover, hey, you quite like this group. Then the camp ends. You return to your family, your friends, your lover / whatever. And it fades into a memory. Perhaps some effort here and there. Meet up once in a while. But by and large, you are no longer as involved in one another's life as you were for that few days. And that is ok. Just seems to me to be like alot of school friends sped up.

And I must say I judge people rather harshly on things that I think I have mastered. Those struggling with the same things as I presently struggle are, perhaps, treated kinder.

I also think, sometimes we float through life, each too engrossed in their own. We ought to really love more. And love people outside of our family/friends too.

Sometimes I wonder, why do people share the things they share. And why do people keep secret the things they keep secret. I can postulate, 2 reasons for both, off the top of my head. I am not going to tell you these reasons. You can wonder why I shared this.

[[I wrote this at]]*|3:15 PM|

Tuesday, December 8, 2015

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I am having a rather busy holiday. It is notably better than wasting time away. Afterall, I need to find a new person to waste time away with.

[[I wrote this at]]*|11:03 PM|

Friday, December 4, 2015

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Two types of ministry? The input and the output? input e.g cf, output e.g cru, yfc? Idea is that input and output should both come together.

Hmmm. The above sentence was like, from weeks ago. Perhaps I shall develop it, perhaps I shall not.

It is harder to maintain your spiritual disciplines once exams are over eh. Nevertheless, I hope God sustains. Many other things I also hope for. Like I hope all non-believers come to know God. Or those that once knew can come back and take the step to believe. Or those that are close to believing to take the step. Yknow.

I must say, life is not a sprint. It is a marathon right. Exams are not the final or even a checkpoint. Why should exams affect anything? I am not working for grades in themselves. Sigh, why does it affect me so then? I am a sucker for human approval. And a sucker for my peer's approval. Sigh. Shall slowly change though. For what am I aligning my whole life towards and like, disciplining myself (though poorly, sadly), and like, refraining from hedonism? That was rhetorical.

Anyway the idea of the first sentence is like, all ministry should provide both input to the person partaking in it as well as generate output from the person to others involved in the same ministry.

[[I wrote this at]]*|12:11 AM|

Wednesday, December 2, 2015

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Is it ok to be real and disgusting? Authentic and disgusting? Whats with this disgusting anyway. What does it even mean? Is there an objective disgusting? I think not. Just be real.

The question is what if the real you is, like, unsatisfactory, to society mostly but even to yourself. What then? Do you work to change the real you or what? Ask society to change and accept you? Or ask yourself to change and accept yourself? Again the tension between improving and lowering standards I guess.

Some things are toxic. Like dota. Sigh.

Hmm. So interesting, this blog is seeing new readers as (probably) the old fades away. Somewhat like how my old self fades into the past. This internet is really good at like, snapshotting stuff. That will be whiled away for a really long time. Until then.

Ohwell. Now to plan my time properly... Kinda lazy though. Abundance of free time is such a precious gift.

[[I wrote this at]]*|2:14 AM|