[[How has been]]

Monday, February 29, 2016

[[The great leap]]

I really wanna post something cos it is the 29th of February.
I wanted to make it something to remember.
But life is not about remembering dates eh.
Perhaps remembering events and people have a place.
Perhaps associating them with dates help.

[[I wrote this at]]*|10:22 PM|

Monday, February 22, 2016

[[]]

I think. I am in need of a realignment.

I think I'm good when the substance I am does not actually support what I think. I really am unideal. There are times when I, I, act in a thoroughly wrong/ unloving way. Thinking that I am 'good' is incorrect thinking and needs to be corrected for it does not reflect the truth.

I have been distracted, lately, by certain... distractions. Things that are fun, things that I haven't done in a long while. Perhaps there is a reason why I haven't done so in a long while and I ought to remember that.

I have been in a sort of stasis. While the precious time is ticking away. As is the precious lifeblood. As is my youth. As is life. As are opportunities.

I am sinner for sure. Yet I wanna follow Christ and have the victory in him. Victory on this side of earth is hard-fought and hard. Game is hard. Life is hard. No easy games. How unfortunate.

I find games hollow leh. Like, sigh. So hollow. Such a hollow endeavour. It is really empty calories leh, no kidding. Like... it is the sugar that you eat and feel like retching afterwards. And it clogs your arteries with vapid vapours.

[[I wrote this at]]*|4:08 AM|

Tuesday, February 16, 2016

[[]]

What have I done lol.

Ohwell, not to worry. I shall just seek God and... (the rest shall sort itself out) actually there is no need for the and.

[[I wrote this at]]*|11:48 PM|

Wednesday, February 10, 2016

[[]]

Perhaps apart from tackling the question of 'what ought' in pure theoria, 'what ought I do' in the realm of the practical or the praxis. I hope I am using these terms right. What ought I do, would then be translated to what I think other people ought do assuming that I do love myself and I love other people. If to the same degree, then what other people ought do, to the best of my theorising ability, would be what I ought do, of course correcting for specific circumstances and whatnot. The general rules still remain, nonetheless.

Some days I feel like taking on the world and leaving the world an imprint of some sorts, however small. Other days, I just wanna do my own thing, seek God? (hopefully) and like just fully leave it up to God. I think seeking God is clearly right. These are not mutually exclusive obviously.

[[I wrote this at]]*|1:42 AM|

Monday, February 8, 2016

[[Stream of consciousness #1]]

I recently saw some facebook post about some app that deletes what you write if you do not write. The idea behind that app is to force you to write and just keep writing. I figured I would do this for a couple of blogposts, at least until I regain some semblance of coherent thought and am able to, yknow, string together paragraphs that make sense of each other. That being said, I am not using the app, only the idea behind the app. I think I will call this a stream of consciousness blogpost. Perhaps if this is successful, many others will follow.

Another benefit of this model, I think, is that I will be able to censor less. Not in the sense of intentional censoring but in the form of unintentional, sub-conscious censoring that comes with trying to phrase something properly. People are talking to me but no distractions!!! Let me finish this post before I do all else.

So it is chinese new year, I have a new realisation that CNY for many of the people I know are actually vastly different from mine. It appears that my family does visiting quit a bit. In fact, we do almost like the most visiting out of all the people I know. First two days of CNY are packed, almost back to back and then other stuff comes in after the public holidays have passed. The result of this is, perhaps, that we meet more people which might be both a good and a bad thing. It is rather tiring to socialise with people that you do not particularly care for. That is not to say a total absence of care, but a really low level of care. Ohwell. They say blood is thicker than water but I think blood counts for nothing if not for a relationship. Hence, CNY might be a time to cultivate these relationships, perhaps. I think my parents ought to have forced me and my sister to interact more with our distant cousins. Some things have to be forced, awkward kids will sit alone awkwardly otherwise. Nonetheless, this is all very draining socially and what not. I have also observed that people have grown up. Especially the people our age, we are doing 'adult' things now. Amazing. I am an adult.

Ohwell. What is the next topic? Hmmm... Typing thoughts out allows you to keep up the semblance of continual writing, continual thinking. Even though it is only hmms. Right right, I have also realised that the content flows much faster. Not so sure about the quality though.

I think that parenting is a really heavy and unique burden/ opportunity. To bring up children fearing God is probably one of the best things that can be done. I dunno the exact mechanics of how much parents should be faulted for their children's turning 'bad' but I would think that there is certainly some culpability there. I really think that a strong praying background that the parent provides is so invaluable. The parent must obviously walk close with God in order to model and teach the child in the correct ways.

Prayer is insanely important. If God exists, then prayer is probably the singularly most powerful force in the universe. If God doesn't exist then it is either a massive waste of time or a wonderful delusion that has therapeutic side effects that might make it worth. That doesn't matter anyway because God exists. I purely assert, you are free to disagree if you so wish. There are so many things to pray about and yet... and yet I find that I pray unsatisfactorily. Here there is an interesting parallel with typing whatever comes to mind. If you pray whatever comes to mind, I guess it might work. Perhaps I shall try that later. Just keep going, just keep going. Don't have to really filter. Commit it all to God. Hmm.

Ok I'm tired. This was written in what? 15 mins? Rather impressive.

Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord. I think I don't really know how to 'humble' (verb) myself. I think I know how to recognise humility and I might be able to 'humble' (verb) others. Probably by giving some accurate criticism or something. I know how to be 'humbled' by receiving stuff (external). It seems hard to be humbled by something internal. Perhaps the answer is something to do with God. Like perhaps not so much a self-humbling but a more accurate representation of the self in view of God.

[[I wrote this at]]*|11:33 PM|

Friday, February 5, 2016

[[]]

You think there could be a society where all the slaves are Christian and they work for Christ (and the benefit of their superiors who are not Christian) faithfully and without (much) dissent?

omt. this was supposed to be developed much further but i have procrastinated it too much and i need to sleep now.

[[I wrote this at]]*|12:25 AM|