What ought?

Friday, November 30, 2018

[[]]

Just finished the shadow of the wind. Was a great read. Full of very real characters, full of brokenness. However, I think it elevates (or rather the characters inside leading to the moral of the story, if any) romantic love especially of the youthful lustful kind too much (as does alot of modern pop culture).

There is one character within who loves a person but that person hardly cares for her. And yet she is unable to love, or rather, to desire in the same way another that really cares for her. Even though she apparently tries to. I know they are fictional. But it is tragic.

[[I wrote this at]]*|1:41 AM|

Thursday, November 29, 2018

[[]]

Question: Is contentment good?

Seems to me that contented people are happier overall that those who have spurts of euphoria and long down time in between.

Do you think it true that contentment is never achieved by progress?

Let's assume that contentment is achieved when reality of one's life expectation of what is a good life. Idk how contentious this is.

There is quite an influential view that changes in life do not really impact long term happiness. Happiness normalises after awhile. This means that any one-off progress only gives short term happiness. For example, winning the lottery.

It seems, then, that unless constant progress is made at a rate that makes the short term long term (i.e, the gaps in between "progress" become very short), contentment is a better bet for long term happiness.

There is also the fact that the happiness brought by progress normalises too. That some more drastic change is required to achieve the same amount of short-term happiness. I think progress seekers finding short term success highs are a kinda poor bet for long term happiness. Nonetheless, they might derive some sort of meaning from constantly progressing (what the current culture seems to love) and that might give them some sort of long term happiness (if they become contented with it).

It seems to me that intentional progress lifts expectations at a rate faster than actual progress fulfils the expectations.

I have deliberately avoided giving examples so that this can be as broad a point as possible. However, there are some contextual considerations that need to be addressed.

It seems to me that comparisons towards other people play a large part in "unsolicited contentment". I don't know what it is like proper contentment or rather that they run out of ideas on how to progress. The richest person in idk, *insert random "poor" african country might be alot happier than the 999th richest person in USA just because he is the big fish in the small pond.

Does this even make sense. I feel I can make this better but I need to leave the house.

Point is, I think cultivating a sense of contentment is the only way to achieve long term happiness. One must rein in one's expectations rather than just blindly chasing them. Because these expectations run faster than you when you run towards it. Like a carrot on a stick that grows longer the faster you run. You should instead focus on reeling in the stick instead of running towards it. Or maybe a bit of both, but the reeling in is the impt part. The running towards helps because it helps with the comparison shennanigans. This has been a purely secular thought.

[[I wrote this at]]*|7:15 PM|

Monday, November 26, 2018

[[Out of the harbour]]

I just finished "out of the harbour". It's great and hilarious man. And so cute la.

Makes me excited for my trip, though I believe STEP and the 2 years program will be quite different. Still, seems like so much fun. I find it hilarious how much she is broken and how much she learn about herself and God. Oh man, I'm defo going to realise a lot of shitty things about myself, but also things that I can change and should change to be better. Probably different things from her.

[[I wrote this at]]*|7:13 PM|

Sunday, November 25, 2018

[[Christianity is foolish. It's great!]]

What my understanding of true (it is sad that I have to add true before Christianity but there are many false gospels calling themselves Christianity so this is necessary I reckon) Christianity is really in line with this passage from 1 Cor 1:18-25 (ESV). Come now, don't be allergic to reading the Bible.

"For the word of the cross is folly to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. For it is written,

“I will destroy the wisdom of the wise,
    and the discernment of the discerning I will thwart.”

Where is the one who is wise? Where is the scribe? Where is the debater of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world? For since, in the wisdom of God, the world did not know God through wisdom, it pleased God through the folly of what we preach to save those who believe. For Jews demand signs and Greeks seek wisdom, but we preach Christ crucified, a stumbling block to Jews and folly to Gentiles,  but to those who are called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God. For the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men."

In summary: God's way looks really foolish to men but the foolishness of God is wiser than men. (Note: This is a broad point though the specific in this particular text is Christ's purchasing salvation on the cross. Other texts support this broad point such as first be last last be first .etc. but I'm not going into too much there.)

In the same way, methinks the true Christian life looks really foolish to the culture of this world. But I reckon the correct way is to embrace that it looks foolish but in fact, it is not Christianity that is foolish but that the world is foolish. It is rather subversive of the world's standards. And tbh, that is what I think a God (the highest conception of God) would do. Like it makes much sense for God to do this and in fact, this is probably one of the main reasons why I think Christianity is true. For it really takes the world's concepts of what is good and desirable and turns it on its head so hard and actually produces (miraculous?) results. And methinks this is rather unique to Christianity though probably some defence is required.

This subversion is so deep. That it goes all the way down to basic moral assumptions. And actually I think even many Christians would be uncomfortable by this list. Even if they agree that it is right, we all find it hard to live like this.

Next post will be about the foolish-ness of Christianity, like tracing out some specifics (That i see).

[[I wrote this at]]*|11:44 PM|

Tuesday, November 20, 2018

[[Sapiens and the dominant worldview (or maybe "in" worldview)]]

Just finished Sapiens. I can see why it is the number one bestseller for the past year or so. I think it is a well written narrative. It presents a triumphant kinda march into the future telling of the history of humankind. I honestly think this is a good candidate as a spokesperson for the dominant worldview nowadays in western secular society. This book is not a philosophical work (unlike the previous few ones regarding Christianity), it is more historical and sociological in my opinion. Though of course there are philosophical assumptions underpinning the entire narrative. Note I characterise it as a narrative rather than non-fictional factual statements. The biggest assumption that this book makes seems to me to be that happiness is good and the measure by which good should be measured.

Perhaps another main question that the book tries to answer is how do human relationships work and w hat makes people willing to cooperate with one another?

The book uses the (popular?) secular (scientific) community's view backed by secular archaeological findings (of course there are variations but I think most people would agree on this in general). It is an historical view though, not a scientific view but I digress. I guess this harks back to the evolution/creation debate, of which I have written the view that I defend previously.

Interestingly, this book attempts to answer the fundamental who am I question that presumably the reader asks. Maybe that can account for its popularity.

Book is divided into 4 parts.

First part is the cognitive revolution. It concerns how homo sapiens came to dominate the foodchain.
From the time homo sapiens became distinct (200k?) years ago to 70k years ago, we weren't that much different from other animals. Neither did we dominate the food chain. Foraging for food, hunting and being hunted in small packs. Somewhere around 70k years ago, humans gained the ability to employ language, coupled with the earlier discovery of fire, this enabled them to spread out from africa and dominate the rest of the world. And apparently, wherever they went, mass extinction events happened. This is attributed to human and their cooperative hunting techniques.

The second part is the agricultural revolution. Around 70k years ago, homo sapiens started gradually moving from being hunter gatherers to agriculturalists. It is characterised by the author as the worst deal ever. People became tied to a place, and started to have a less varied less nutritious diet (of hunter gatherers). People work longer hours, more backbreaking work. People become more dependent on the seasons, rain in particular. Surpluses become a target for neighbouring tribes to raid. People have more children because of food surpluses but these children die young and quickly. However, more people could now exist in a smaller plot of land. When you have more people you are stronger and can drive smaller bands of hunter gatherers away. Over time, the entire human population became agricultural.

In my opinion, these first two parts are false (in that that is not what happened). They tell a story based on some evidences but the interpretation of evidences such as archaeological finds and DNA sequences is wrong. Sigh, I think it is impossible to advance a comprehensive case here in a blog post, neither am I up to it. Why not check out creation.com if you are really interested? This is also very much pre-history, where there is very little written things (supposedly) concerning events that happened or lives lived.

Instead, I think the true narrative is that God created humankind (around 6k years ago) and that they started off agricultural (as seen in Genesis e.g cain and abel, noah). So they already had with them language (further spread by tower of babel) and basic farming knowledge. Hunter gatherers, then, are peoples that having been isolated, lost the knowledge of agriculture or adapted to their new environments in a different lifestyle. The narrative arc then isn't one where humanity gradually gained dominance over the animal kingdom and creation (it was already created as such). The narrative arc also isn't one where people gradually yoked themselves to the ground to do agriculture rather than hunting-gathering, it was already what they were doing from the beginning and had to do as a result of the cruse that was set by the fall.

I do understand that this is quite the minority opinion nowadays but we shall see whether it gets proven true or not in the end. I think it is fine if you think me retarded for believing this. If you can show me evidence otherwise and are willing to consider a different viewpoint i'm very open to discussing this further.

Part 3 is about the unification of humankind. Here is where it starts getting interesting. Basically this traces how the separate human communities worldwide got reunited into the one global system that we have today (barring like tribes on sentinel island or something).

There is quite alot of stuff (abit in the previous chapter) about the advancements that humanity has to make in order to live in communities of larger and larger numbers. For example, one would have to be the invention of writing in order to make up for being unable to remember statistics about a city (for tax collection purposes). In part 3 there are three things that contributed to the unification of humankind. Money, Empires and Religions. These three things enable people who do not know each other personally (or rather, are total strangers) to cooperate

Money is universal glue. The author understands it (and I think rightly so) to be a universal unit of trust. This trust is in money itself and the institutions that allow money. This allows a common language to be spoken, a limited but important language of bargaining and trade. Money in itself is worthless, but so long as everyone believes that money has worth, money has worth. The author notes that Osama bin Laden can hate everything american and still love US dollars. The point is that even warring factions speak the language of money.

Religion too glues people together. People of disparate tribes and tongue can agree to behave according to a set of norms and fight wars for the same reasons and stuff like that. Religion also creates order by having some idea of divine punishment and having its own laws.

Similarly Empires also bring people together. Whether it is true establishing uniform measurements, spreading religion and a currency, They also build roads and enforce order through the military. They also mix ideas and basically lead to some sort of homogeneity even though the resulting homogeneous culture is a mish mash of everything that the empire absorbs. People start to think as romans and remain thinking in roman ways long after rome has been conquered many times over, same for egypt and Islam and lots of China .etc .etc.

I guess it is interesting to think about how humans became disparate and then come to work together again. The bible gives an answer- the tower of babel changed their languages preventing them from working together and so they spread out and forged their own way and diverged in life from each other. Perhaps the invention of these universal languages allows the transcending of linguistic difference (at least at a basic level). Also, the number of languages are quickly dwindling with many less spoken dialects dying out. Perhaps we will end up with a universal language again someday? Book also notes that mathematics is a universal language. I think the whole proto languages thing can fit into the babel narrative btw.

There is also another underlying point that humanity has been able to control more and more of nature (the world?) because humans have been able to work more and more together. This runs throughout the book.

The point is also that all 3 things, empires, states and religion are make-believe. Well, thats abit awkward because I am a Christian. And as a Christian I have to hold that all other religions are false while mine is true. But it is persuasive, is it not? That all the others are make believe so surely Christianity is make believe too. The point is that if everyone agrees that something is true, that something has force. For the author, this explains how people organise together by banding around a myth (because something real has not enough force - e.g banding around something real fails because unlike empire ideals or Gods, humans fall sick and die, so on and so forth.

The author also notes astutely that nowadays secularism is actually humanism or something like that. Humans have elevated themselves to the position of Gods. At the end of this segment he also introduces two useful concepts - one that predictions are second-order chaotic system where predictions in itself change the outcome. Secondly, that ideas live on and propagate independent of the humans e.g christianity, communism, liberal ideals. These ideas are not original to him but useful nonetheless.

Part 4 is the longest part and it covers the scientific revolution. About how humanity started to admit its ignorance and in searching for answers (rather than accepting that we had all the answers in the form of dogmas in religion .etc.) started to create and discover things that had great practical use. And in the blink of the evolutionary eye, humans started to wield power to control the world like crazy.

This happened when science created power from (seemingly) nothing by tapping into fossil fuels .etc. How this power was used to build big-ass European empires. And how all this value creating inspired the creation of massive credit and stock exchanges and how people leveraged on trust in the future to fund present projects and how all this turbocharged the economy like a person buying on leverage in a bull market. He suggests that if this trust enterprise somehow fails, the results might be potentially catastrophic. But everyone seems rather confident about the march of progress by science.

At the end, he takes stock of the current situation.

Animals have dwindled in variety (oh who cares if they can just evolve some time into the future?). And the most successful animals numbers wise are domesticated animals. Humans are similarly domesticated. He then asks, but are individuals happy? And the answer seems to be no. The domesticated animals are not happy because they have no freedom to frolick around, are separated from their parents at birth .etc .etc. Humans are not happier either despite having a longer life expectancy, less violence. And some issue about how happiness is subjective and perhaps we should be like the buddhists and instead change what we want instead of doing the consumerist way and try to get what we want because we are never satisfied by getting what we want. I think how about just being and finding contentment in that.

Finally there is a short segment on we becoming super humans through genetic engineering or cyborg kinda things or uploading consciousness into silicon. Ive wrote before on uploading consciousness (dont think it can happen). We shall see how it works out. The attitude towards the future is unchanged (from, again what I wrote earlier, essentially the future will be and whatever is right will be shown right).

I think the interesting part of this book is how he presents facts and interweaves it with the interpretation of these facts. And so the factual force make it seem that his interpretation is factual as well, when in actually it is just a compelling and interesting story.

EDIT: probably not the best review... Ohwell. Can discuss with me if you have read the book.

EDIT: Instead, what is the Christian worldview that can take into consideration all the evidences that he presents. Lets look at parts 3 and 4 (since i reject most of parts 1 and 2).

It seems that the Bible does include a time before currency was invented (e.g Job's wealth being denominated in cattle and the like). The invention of currency seems indisputable to me. The effects of the invention of currency, too, seem indisputable to me (perhaps indisputable is too strong, just that I don't know enough to dispute and it seems convincing enough to me). In the same way, his point about empires holds. And yeah, I reckon that these things are pretty much not real in the sense that they do not exist ontologically but only in the minds of humans.

In some sense, religion exists only in the minds of humans. There is nothing you can point to and say "thats Christianity" and the value of Christianity (the object) is such and such. But the Christianity (or any religion) didn't intend to be an object even though it exercises great influence through being in the minds of humans. The truth of any religion or belief system is grounded in historical (and other) claims that are verifiable and testable.

What would be the competing Christian interpretation that covers most of his datapoints? Off hand I would think that the increasing interconnected-ness of the world (especially Christianity's role in it, especially in the western empires) is tied to the great commission to go and make disciples of every nation. Case in point the missionary that just died trying to convert the sentinel people.

The growth of science and technology is based on the idea that the world is orderly and hence functions in a way that can be figured out. Natural laws and all make sense if the world is orderly and (at the start at least) order is not a given unless there is some order-er.  And indeed I would think of it as humans mandate in stewarding and ruling over creation in Genesis. Whether we have done well in stewarding is another question but we surely have come to dominate creation.

The drive to become like God is also shown throughout the Bible from Babel to Babylon to Herod.  It shouldn't be a surprise that humanity as a whole strives to be like God. However, this is not a normatively neutral topic for the Christian - humans should not take the place of God. (But what constitutes taking the place of God is very contentious. I'm personally ok with most scientific programs and stuff that might be contentious. I think God can fight his own battles. If we screw up we are just gonna screw up on ourselves and pay the consequences. It's fine lol.) Greed motivates alot of exploitation, pride a lot of glory seeking and so on and so forth. The issue is that perhaps taking this worldview has alot of human's great achievements coming up from not the right motives.

And lastly, of course there is the critique of capitalism. Simplistically capitalism in itself is neither good or bad but an unfettered market allows people to gain crazy amount of power over other people and stuff like that. Idk if this point is even relevant.

[[I wrote this at]]*|11:05 PM|

Monday, November 19, 2018

[[A short reflection on the army and safety.]]

So, I am thankful that reservist went better than expected. And my guys and specs were good. And I finally have a sufficient number of specs to help manage the guys and I can do less people management and more planning, higher-level things that I'm allegedly supposed to do.

This reservist was rather overshadowed by the emphasis on safety. To those who don't know what happened, a full time national serviceman passed away after being involved in a training accident. In response to that, the army called for (another) safety time out.

I thought it hilarious that the commander of MTI, a SLTC, said "safety over mission". And apparently the army has gone from "mission success, safety always" to "safety always, mission success". Basically safety is prioritised over mission. For an army, that essentially means that safety is prioritised over everything else. Obviously the safest army would be no army. Or a stay-in-bunk army.

I enlisted when the army had 7 core values, when care for soldier was the last core value (army added the 8th core value of safety a year or so after I finished with my active service). Through my BMT and OCS infantry training, I saw quite a few cases of heat exhaustion/ heat stroke happen to people in my company. In fact, it seems to me that these cases contributed directly to the increased emphasis on safety. Even while doing safety I had someone faint on me alone in the middle of the night in the Brunei jungle, made me seriously scared that he would die.

I believe, and this is based on anecdotal evidence, that the army has actually become safer over the years. During the earlier years of the army there were many severe incidents, but these were accepted by the SAF (Singapore armed forces, for foreign readers) and the public at large as a cost that had to be borne.

The narrative that every life lost while training is a life too many is cool. Has a nice ring to it. Is popular too. Lemme quote "It is my KPI that this reservist everyone is sent home safely to your families, girlfriends .etc .etc.". Why not let us all out pro immediately. You'll hit your KPI. But I guess he did hit his KPI in other ways, the intensity of training was decreased, the entire unit didn't stay outfield at all, whenever there was any chance of being unsafe, we erred on the side of safety.

Why is safety in the forefront now? Presumably there are political and social pressures now. As I mentioned, the army is getting safer, yet presumably the demands that the army be safe outstrips army's increasing safety. Perhaps it is kinda like how our MRT is actually getting more efficient and having less breakdowns but the demand for efficiency and no breakdowns outstrips this "real" statistical improvement. Such that every safety incident or every train breakdown causes a massive hoo-ha. People are less accepting of their children dying for the state. Less accepting of other people's children dying for the state.

If you have read my previous posts, you will know that I am no fan of the state. Not just Singapore, I'm no fan of the concept of "states". But this over emphasis on safety is just ridiculous. Too safe training is no training. And instead of having this too safe training, we might as well go home and sleep and be safe, and not waste everyone's time.

Let me tell you a sick story titled "safety breach" (which will only make sense to you if you are infantry trained). So my guys somehow became stormando team 1 and team 2. Stormando team 2 was defending a building, was an urban ops mission. I had 5 guys inside. And I was outside because I was "umpiring" (basically I call that people are dead or alive). There was a fence outside the house with a gate. That wasn't even padlocked but tied together with some metal wire and secured with a huge stone. Usually during breaching, the infantry platoon will have to put a bangalore torpedo (essentially a shaped charge) to blow away obstacles like the gate. Presumably untying some metal wire would be easier than that, but would probably still cause a few casualties (cos my guys would shoot at them when they were not under cover). Instead, this attacking commander took out a smoke grenade. Then he asked the trainers whether he could throw it. The trainers said throw, but not within 20m of the building (cos apparently it is the safety regulation now). Just FYI: Prior to a case (I think 1 or 2 years back) where an asthmatic NSF died when 8-9 smoke grenades were thrown in to the same room and he wasn't treated quickly enough, apparently people used to practice flushing the enemy out with smoke by throwing about 5 of them into the building. Anyway back to the story, this commander threw the smoke grenade accidentally just beside the building. So the trainers muttered a few curse words and rushed to remove the smoke grenade. In doing so, they untied the wire and opened the gate. Of course, then the attacking troops rushed forward and said gap gap gap. LMAO. Would be great for war.

I think the army is overprioritising safety. Instead of saying stuff like zero safety incidents or whatnot, I suggest that instead of trying to work in absolutes, the army should allow work together to allow an acceptable level of risk, and with that, an acceptable number of safety incidents. Because army training (or any activity for that matter) is inherently risk, especially if it involves physical exertion and, yknow, stuff designed for killing people. Rather than chasing after this pipe dream and calling a safety timeout (shouldn't these be decreasing in frequency or meant to end all other safety timeouts?) each time, surprise, it fails and disrupting training/making life difficult for everyone down the line, it should aim at a more realistic target. I guess it sounds callous to treat a life as not the ultimate value (e.g defence of nation is more important), but one should realise that in the short 2 weeks of reservist that we did, my unit as a whole already spent 23 man years collectively given up for the army. Lives are ALREADY being given up for the army. We should make the best use of the lives that are already given up for army rather than making this training a waste of time.

Of course higher hq would say that this is exactly what they are trying to do, to ensure that incidents that result from negligence .etc. are not condoned and that mission success and safety can work together. Idk what the average general's perception of the ground is. It seems to me that this push towards safety is making life hard for all the commanders closest to the ground since they have to execute it. And since the commanders on top are the ones that have to answer for it, they just put more and more requirements and then blame the ground commanders when these requirements are not followed. LOL. Who want to be ground commanders like this? Everything also our fault.

Army loves to use the word ensure. Ensure that your men are properly hydrated, ensure that your men are well rested, ensure ensure ensure. Why does the ensuring only happen from the junior commanders to the ground. When a junior commander fails to ensure, why does the buck stop there? Why does it not go further and further up the command chain since they all failed to ensure that he ensures? I'll tell you why. Because ensuring is a freaking tedious process and not foolproof. People have free will (ok not a philosophical debate here, just the natural use of the term free will), they can choose not to do what you tell them to do. Maybe the top honchos should try ensuring something not surrounded by people that owe their living to the army. (So you can't threaten to fire them, cos we all want to be fired from the army).

Lastly, this safety thing is a windfall for the chaokeng people. And if chaokeng people can chaokeng so easily, why would the rest want to stupidly do what is asked of them? Breeding chaokeng culture is stupid for Singapore society as a whole. Simplistically, it erodes erodes trust in the system and a few more steps and viola, nobody gives a shit anymore.

It seems to me that if the govt wants to play at national defence is essential for Singaporean society, and make people believe it, that is fine, just pay the cost, make a bunch of unwilling men join the army. If the govt wants to say a life lost is a life too many (for people who didn't choose it) that is fine too, abolish conscription and hire more professional soldiers. The problem with the current narrative is that it is not really coherent. And not coherent narratives die. Because people can smell that it is weak and attack it e.g chaokeng. Safety and mission success naturally contradict, like saving the environment and economic growth. Unless you have a new technology or something that enables everything to be super realistically high-tech simulated, maybe that would be fine. But till then, I think the most army can do is to put safety as a core value, but definitely not over mission success. An army with safety first is just incoherent. Think of police with safety first. Or fire dept with safety first.

OHHH? Or maybe they are just acknowledging, in a roundabout way, what everyone already knows - that the Singapore army is just wayang, unlike police and scdf. Ok if thats the case. SAFETY OVER MISSION EVERYONE!

[[I wrote this at]]*|5:20 PM|

Sunday, November 11, 2018

[[]]

TIME TO BOOK IN AGAIN. But then again, maybe I'm having it good that this is only 2 weeks a year while some people dread work almost every single week of the year. And thankful that it went better than I expected. Perhaps I will write more in camp. That would be stellar.

[[I wrote this at]]*|8:00 PM|

Wednesday, November 7, 2018

[[]]

Hi all, it is 1.35-2am. I slept at around 11.15 pm. But now I keep thinking about army things and I cannot sleep so I figured I'd might as well get up and write the things down instead of fretting and stuff like that.

[[I wrote this at]]*|2:03 AM|

Sunday, November 4, 2018

[[Army again]]

Hi all!

I'm going for incamp tomorrow. And have been dreading this for the past 1 month, but i think this in camp will be much better. Hopefully I won't have to dread the next one. In fact, it already seems I dread this one less than the previous one already, so thats good.

If you are Christian, pray for me pls. That I will be loving and, not too internally conflicted. And that I be at peace rather than constantly vexed.

Thanks.

[[I wrote this at]]*|10:50 PM|

Friday, November 2, 2018

[[]]

If you wanna talk to a particular someone
but don't know what to talk about,
you actually want that particular someone to talk to you.
And that's different.

[[I wrote this at]]*|12:22 AM|

[[The Undead]]

Ashraf
Boon Pin
Francis
Huiting
Hsiao Ching
Labigail
Shaun Lee
Ting Yit
Wee Wei Ming
Xiao Qi

[[Book wishlist (lend me pls)]]

A Lover's Discourse: Fragments (Barthes)
How to read a book (Adler)
Cost of discipleship (Bonhoeffer)
Crime and Punishment (Dostoyevsky)

[[The Story Thus]]

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[[The Talk (also silent)]]

[[The Ancients]]

Gillian
Fwoooooosh
Amel
Bernice
Beverly
Chiable
Desmond
James
Jiayun
Jocelyn
The /ksl
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Nich lim
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Ying Xuan
Yong Jian
Zhi Ling
302
CMI
Sister
Alvin
Joshua
[[Credits]]

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