[[How has been]]

Tuesday, January 29, 2019

[[Getting into the rhythm (antofagasta and first sailing)]]

Last few days have been quite a blur. Just kinda like, wake up, go to work, feel tired. Find things to do. Sleep. Rinse and repeat.

Today is my first off day from working. It is a tuesday so most people are working (the usual off day was monday but I worked yesterday). I've also arrived in valpariso like a couple of hours ago hence I have data again. Man I miss fast wifi. I have so much youtube backlog to clear (like chongqing major, jeremy lin highlights .etc .etc.).

Someone told me that it is a more sensible idea to send newsletters by port rather than like, monthly, because that is how time is perceived on the ship. I think it makes alot of sense though that will mean more newsletters (and I really don't want to spam the people on my mailing list, so I think I'll make it blogposts and those interested can read it while those who are uninterested can, yknow, just go along on your jolly life.). However, one drawback is that quite alot of materials are classified as "everything but web" which are suitable for emails and newsletters but not here @ good ole absoloutelynothingtodo.blogspot.com.

So let's wrap up antofagasta. Well, when we joined, the ship was already there for 2 weeks so we only participated in the last week (after having our training). I did most of my shifts at the vegetable station. Basically everyday we have to prepare enough vegetables for the ship and it usually is a standard amount (because the ship has alot of westerners who eat salad and bread). It is fun to use a knife and hack at things that i know I'll probably never eat. And well, after doing it for a while you get used to it. There is also usually music playing and people, especially the dish room, dance while working. So there's that.

So my friend that I met on the streets came (tho, like, 1 hour + late, making me miss dinner but thats alright). He is called Jaime and he brought along a friend, Luis. Was great, they both can speak a little english. So I brought them around for the tour which, tbh I kinda forgot the route abit, here and there. Told them about why we are on the ship, here and there about Jesus. Then we went to bookfair. I recommended some bonhoeffer biography thing, told them abit about his life. Recommended some tim keller books as well. Then they went through the interactive tour of the prodigal son. Then we went to eat ice cream, which they bought for me. LOL. Jaime's family was also there and they greeted one another and stuff, and his family members were evangelicals (which was great). Anyway, they left and said they would come again the next day.

So they came again the next day (which was technically an extended day because thursday was supposed to be the last day but this was friday), I wanted to host them for a meal but all the meal passes were reserved and that was unfortunate. They brought another friend, valentina. And Jaime gave me wooden figurine of the things on easter island, the moai thing? And that was good. I got some spanish speaking friend to come along for the tour-ish too and some other steppers tagged along as well. And it was all good. Jaime bought a tim keller book in the end, something apologetics sounding, which i was quite pleased with, maybe one day he too will follow Jesus. Luis got a fidget spinner. And Valentina said she wanted to join the ship though she is catholic, I told her to speak to om chile. Valentina also invited some family members to the ship, it was quite funny. It was like now now. Because the ship would be sailing the next day and was open for only 3 more hours. I couldn't find her mother though. But I think they did alright as normal ship visitors rather than guests.

For both days some nice people dabaoed food for me so I didn't have to go hungry.

Then we sailed. Took a seasick pill on the first day. Sailing is fun, theres no guests and no portside to visit when you are off work and no locals to interact with, But there are various activities to join like a jazz worship night, some sharing, some games things like that. I also played pingpong with some guy from china who is also in catering for 2 days for about an hour. Fun stuff. The stargazing is fun, though it is a wee bit chilly. I also did cup-wash and scrubbed the floor. I dont like scrubbing floor, cup wash is still fine. They scrub the floor everyday man. but it is usually afternoon shift. We did it in the morning because.. idk why, but like we had nothing to do cos we weren't cooking (monday is slowest day because most people are off on monday).

Some people are seasick but they should be fine that we are now in port. I think all is good. I don't like big groups tho. Guess I'm finding friends. Maybe, to be optimistic I can make 2 friends in these 3 months? We shall see.

[[I wrote this at]]*|11:42 PM|

Friday, January 25, 2019

[[First day of work]]

Yesterday was the first day of work. It was pretty eventful. This again, is for chronicling purposes.

So everyday the ship has devotions at 0745 other than on monday when most people are off, (lol I typed until here then realised that the other daily devotion, at 1430, was ongoing and I was late so I rushed off for it. Anyway, I'm back!) LOL. If I hadn't been typing this I would've missed it entirely. Welp. Anyway you can't really miss it usually because you would be just after work or in the middle of work and well, an empty workstation would be very obvious).

Anyway, I was talking about yesterday. So woke up at 7 or so. Ate breakfast with I can't remember who and then had devotions. Then we being enthusiastic decided that we would go and uh, volunteer to do more in the kitchen before our container loading thing starts. So we were put to work slicing onions, then cucumber-like things, then dicing onions (after that it change to peeling and halving onions). The onions were serious stuff man. Hahaha. Anyway, after that we went to do our container things.

So container day happens once every 3 months when the ship receives the containers meant for it, especially when it contains food. So what we had to do is to transport the food, frozen food, from pallets into the giant freezers. Let's just say that we spent about 5 hours doing repeated bicep curls and deadlifts. Using frozen weights of various sizes, in really cold temperatures. And also playing tetris with the shipment. Anywayyy. That was done and we had a short lunch break in-between. Lunch for most days is ham and cheese and bread btw. I don't really get how they survive with such a lack of variety. It be crazy. ANYWAY. After all the containers were done, we were eating dinner (in our STEP group because everyone was supposed to eat with the groups that they joined the ship with), and this crazy south african told us that a passion group was going to happen in 5-10 minutes where they would be going out to the streets to tell other people about Jesus. So, we were interested, and anyway didn't have much appetite cos yknow, the food was, uh, yeah. So we threw away our food and went to change out of our uniforms. Then we joined them. We walked to a nearby park which was gonna be our AO (area of operation). We said a quick prayer then we split into groups. I was put into a group with a local volunteer and another local volunteer who isn't actually local, but a young german who is from a german mission organisation in chile for a year, abit like the other germans in our group. And me. And so the local lady was speaking her first language, and the german girl was helping me understand here and there by translating from her 3rd language to her second language. LooooL. Anyway. we approach random people in the park and start to talk to them. I'm not quite aware of most of the conversation in spanish because, I don't really understand spanish. I guess she told them about Jesus and some stuff like that maybe, hopefully? And then we pray for them, if they are ok with it, i reckon typical street e stuff.

Two interesting episodes. I joined a small boy who was catching ants in a test tube. He is 10 years old and he was just like, crawling on the ground and using his fingers to dig into the ant hole to catch the more valuable ants i.e the queen and supermajors and majors. So I got them to pray for him and stuff like that, his grandfather was also there. After we finished praying he made the sign of the cross so I reckon he is catholic. Near the end we talked to two guys just hanging round in a bench. One of them could speak english so thankfully I could talk directly without going through the very hardworking translator. Anyway, these two guys are planning on visiting our ship, maybe within the next few hours. Hopefully it'll be good. You can pray for it retroactively if you like. After everything was done, we went back, really tired. We had a debriefing and we heard some interesting stories from the other group. And then we collected our laundry.

And today I cut my hand while carrying tomatoes. i also dropped some tomatoes into the sea because the box I was holding broke. All's good, I blessed the fishes. And from the container day my hand is seriously sore and I have lots of bruises from where containers were dumped too hard into my arms. Apparently I'll get used to it.

[[I wrote this at]]*|2:57 AM|

Wednesday, January 23, 2019

[[People leaving the ship]]

Today there were testimonies for people leaving the ship. Alot of people talked about how they had been changed and what not fun times and what not. I wonder how my leaving the ship will be.

Someone said the biggest change that the ship brings to you is that you move from God's mission being something you add on to your life (i.e what most people who call themselves Christians are doing) to something that you build your life around. Basically the point is that many Christians and churches see missions as something to add on. Like if you live your life well, it is good to do missions, it is desirable to do missions. And the general exhortation within the church is to do more missions, to make it a bigger part of your life, to give up more of your time to go on a trip or join a committee or whatever. But the fundamental change has to be greater. Christianity is not a CCA that you do on the side as a hobby to gain "God points". That's bullshit. You don't live your life first and then see where to fit God in. You give God your whole life and see where what you want fits in, if at all.

[[I wrote this at]]*|9:14 AM|

Thursday, January 17, 2019

[[1 day in santiago]]

So... I can't sleep again even though it is 3+am here. I slept from like 9pm-1am. Hopefully I'll sleep somewhere from 4/5-8/9 and maybe on the flight later on.

But the jetlag is great for writing blogposts and just using the computer. And my lips are slightly cracking but I have some emu oil lip balm that my parents forced me to bring even though I didn't really want to.

Anyway! Time to do some chronicling. Today was pretty interesting. I... have some sleep issues (essentially I slept from like 9am-6pm (all chile time), ish (on and off on the plane) yesterday. So.. I slept from like 2am-6am? Then I couldn't sleep anymore. Was playing poker.

Anyway! So I didn't do much from 6am-9am+? Essentially use computer and whatnot, wait for my roommates to wake up, talk to people in Singapore. Then the pressure built and finally I decided to leave my room. (Oh I also got a free upgrade, kinda, to a private room but shared with 4 people. Basically one of the hostel's 8 man room was down and they put us to like private rooms but the problem is private rooms do not have lockers, but ohwell, I don't think I lost anything).

So I went to the reception and asked some questions, got a map and then headed out into the streets. After awhile, I found this claro shop which is basically a telco. They shuffled me to a person that could speak english. And it was a very helpful girl or chica as they say in Spanish who was working part time while studying to be a nurse (I believe something about delivery of children or smth about children). So I got the SIM card at 1000 pesos (as compared to the airport's 24k?). Then I was supposed to get a 7k plan and we went to the counter but the counter said their system was down. So she wrote me a note to pass to the cashier of a nearby supermart. Which I did, after queuing. But their system screwed up too. And I felt hungry, so I went to buy some chicken at the cooked food place in the supermarket. I believe I bought half a chicken. Then I joined the other queue and got my chicken as well as the mobile top up for 7k. I went back to the telco shop and they activated the thing after quite awhile so now I have 6gb and 500 minutes for local calls with free data for facebook and instagram and whatsapp I believe for 14.2 SGD which is far better than the more expensive and more crappy plan that Singtel is scamming me for in Singapore.

So that was good, after that I'm augmented! With the google maps (I decided that with my new phone I'm ok with letting the govt track my position on gps) travelling is on ezpz mode. Kinda. I looked into a church, asked if there is anything to read in english via google translate, there wasn't. Then I went to eat my half chicken on a bench in the middle of a kinda busy street? maybe something like orchard road. Sat next to this middle aged lady who seemed friendly but cannot speak english (she helped me unwrap the chicken even though I didn't ask lol). The chicken skin was really salty. And when I bit into it I realised that I was really hungry. Like I guess I've been doing the eating shit while travelling thing (lol) and I think somewhere along the flight, I didn't have lunch and I had breakfast for dinner which I supplemented with some snacks from Singapore which was, well clearly not enough. But the chicken (pollo) was good and I felt somewhat happy.

Then I decided I wanted to visit the museum of memory and human rights, something about the time of Pinochet and "never again"? I reckon somewhat similar to Germany tho the atrocities were limited to the internal sphere. So I followed google maps. Went into some side alley and realised I got the wrong location so I found the correct location instead and man its another 30 minutes walk (after the initial 15) but luckily it was on the way. So I walked down this Jesus road. Having fun, smiling at strangers and laughing to myself and poking my head into whatever piqued my curiosity and, later, poking fun at the pigeons (lol the instastory) (pigeon episode actually came chronologically after the thing I'm about to narrate). Then! I saw some people queuing for something. Then! I decided to ask what its about cos it seemed interesting. But I couldn't speak spanish but some guy told me it was an exhibition, something like a interactive theatre about death. Sounds fun. So I bought a ticket, for 5k pesos. Then I asked why it wasn't 3k (cos I saw someone with a 3k ticket) and apparently you get a discount if you live in the neighbourhood around where this exhibition was because it was part of a larger art festival and uh, this exhibition was under an initiative to bring the community together. Which I thought was a friggin great idea. Like srsly, whats not to like about it, stage a performance/exhibition in a place, give discount to the locals, make it be like a local topic, increase art awareness. Great stuff all around. For context, my 1/2 chicken cost around 2.5k I think, so I guess this ticket cost a full roast chicken.

So I went in and I thought it was either a forum theatre (someone said something like that) or like a museum style exhibition. But it was neither. Apparently had to get into groups of 6. And I talked to this girl who sat beside me. She studies uh, art (the more digital side) and abit of art history and stuff like that, so like, hipster I reckon. But it was great that she could speak english. She was also let in free because her friend worked there lel. And we went through the exhibits in the same group. Basically the exhibits were about people before their death or in preparation for their death. It was a german company exhibit so all the people were based in europe and they spoke mostly french, some german and 1 english. It seemed to me like in thinking and exhibiting themselves in death they were talking about how they had lived and how they wanted to be remembered (oh yes, it's called nachluss which is supposedly legacy) which was, actually, about life rather than death. Anyway these 2 always go together. One was this UCL vice-provost who was a neurologist or something, had a very memory based idea of life and self, talking about senescence and the typical story of life milestone birth-graduation-job-kid-job-job-retirement. The first exhibit was this french lady who seemed to me to lead a normal-ish life, divorced, had kids, now in an old folks home with a passion for photography all her life so the main exhibit was through her photos (which were interactive we could touch and stuff). Another was of this german base jumper who was basically talking about how he loved the thrill and stuff and how he tries to mitigate the risk that he knows is inherent in his job and how he buys insurance and wants his wife to be able to bring up the kid (tho it seemed to me supa individualistic but this is europe after all). Then there was this french lady who was once a accomplished child theatre performer with a legendary child performance. Seemed to me like she lived in the shadow of that all her life, and she has this idea of wanting to overcome, like her marriage (which consigned her to not be able to perform cos her husband was that kinda person) which she overcame through divorce. And now she wants to overcome her multiple sclerosis with euthanasia. Well... Interesting choices. Note also the interesting choices I make in telling these stories e.g including their nationality and the slant. And theres this lady that spent her life helping africans through the EU, lived a single life, wants to start a foundation, not to "save africa" but to empower africans. What else.. Theres also this turkish guy living in zurich but very much muslim. Talking about praying, burial practices and returning to turkey to be buried. I reckon the most culturally asian exhibit (Which is also somewhat close to latin america). We were also offered some turkish sweet which was good. There's this guy who picked up fly fishing, after he had his daughter. And he has this incurable genetic disease (That his daughter did not have). And it was mostly about how he wants his daughter to remember him and about how much he loves his daughter. And a german couple who fought with their children about educating their grandchildren (they are in brazil) and how they bankroll their grandchildren only if they come back to germany to study, and some reflections on supporting hitler and stuff like that. Anyway I might have missed one or two out, but it was generally quite interesting and we could e.g see the documents of the projects that the lady wanting to help people in africa did and her plans for her foundation, touch the flies that the man made to go fly fishing and see the picture, eat turkish sweets, get water from the german couple (who did some high powered banking job) .etc .etc.

In between all these exhibits I discussed them with the girl, and it was fun. I guess the latin culture is quite close to asian (at least thats what I have read) and definitely we felt like family was something quite overlooked (or rather not primary) in most of their legacies. I would have asked her for lunch but she was meeting her friend (who worked there) for lunch. So... Ohwell. Oh and she had also heard of the logos hope, apparently from reading a newspaper (yay well done pubs team). I told her to come visit (WAO evangelism of sorts) but yeah, she said shes not very keen.

Anyway, disturbed the pigeons thereafter and walked to uh, the museum. Which was entirely in spanish and I didn't wanna rent the english audioguide for 2k cos I don't really like audio guides. Just had a quick browse and left. Walked a little through a huge park, everything in spanish, lots of people lying down in the shade and hugging/kissing their partner. lel. Then walked to the university of santiago in chile. which was about 15 minutes away.

When I visit a uni I usually do 2 things, that is visit the philosophy department and see their student ministry. And well, if they have a c-chess club or frisbee I would go have a look too. So being matriculation day makes it really easy! But I don't speak spanish so getting around was quite hard yet also quite fun. Kept asking the donde department philosophy which progressed to donde estar el departmento filosofia (something like that) by the end. LOLOL. Anyway there was also this booth of a Christian ministry. So naturally I talked to them but her english wasn't good. But basically she was also gonna join the logos hope! woo! but in a few weeks at a different port. And also the ministry wasn't IFES affiliated and they were evangelistic (but not cru affiliated either I guess). Good stuff. I have no idea why they took my number (cos I''m hardly matriculating) but I guess I'll see them in a few weeks! So that was fun, I tried to find the other christian ministries but couldn't find any.

Found the department of philosophy after a long while, had a good chat with the director? About university rankings and the purpose of philosophy and local faculty vs international (the faculty is overwhelmingly chilean and they have some latin america philosophy module @jokeNUS). And a little about the purpose of the university and philosophers being atheist. Lel. Most interestingly, this university doesn't offer pure philosophy as undergrad degree but it offers a 5 year course of philosophy and education which is like philosophy + NIE. Apparently in chile upper secondary (2 years) have compulsory philosophy so thats meant to cover that. I think it helps that I'm from very far away so people are more interested in talking to me, maybe? LOL.

ANYWAY after that I was super tired cos of the sleep issues and not really in the mood for walking 45 minutes back. So I found the metro, google maps told me to find. And I was talking to this staff through google translate and stuff and he was helping me buy a card. But I wanted a single ticket (and not a card because, yknow, I was only gonna take one ride. And then I asked if i can get the deposit back (or card value back) and apparently you cannot. Long story short, he then decided to give me a free ride and let me in through some side gate. Which I was very grateful for. What a nice guy. And lookit this, public service with a heart. (Or maybe he was just tired of talking to me through google translate but he seemed genuinely nice tho).

Got back to the hostel and uh, was notified that I had to change rooms. Which I wasn't too happy about but understandable I guess, cos we were upgraded yesterday. Well the guy was very apologetic. And my new room had no lock cos some idiot broke it. And whatever, basically my stuff was all around my room when I left but housekeeping had packed most of my stuff into the plastic bag that I kept my slippers in but whatever (The slippers were new, besides). Also gave me a lock for my locker since my locks weren't the correct size. So I moved room and the guy in charge offered me breakfast tomorrow (yay) lol. He also repaired the door and then told me about some hanging out at the rooftop. But I was really tired. I talked to some of my new roommates (oh my old roomates were an argentinian couple, the male of which was really fond of saying "yeah!" and a brazillian guy). New roommates was this brazillian lawyer who really like travelling, her swedish friend and some polish guy. This swedish friend plays dota, and we talked abit about watching dota (he wasn't there initially he only came back after the brazillian girl left to catch some sunset - they met in some hostel in china anyway) .

And after some deciding I finally left the hostel to grab dinner which was two on offer sandwiches at burger king. Which was pretty good. Then I slept at 8+/9pm which was... around 7+/8am in Sg time. Not bad, getting there. I woke up at 1+am? Decided to go to the rooftop. And viola! there was a huge bunch of people. I joined the guy that invited me (who also runs the whole place since the manger is out) and they were talking in spanish, like a bunch of brazillians and a venezuelan so obviously i was, like, the odd one out. brazillian lawyer was there too) And there was this crazy party. And guess what! all the people were deaf. So it was a silent party but like they were "talking" animatedly and stuff and it was just so cute la. Like a group convo in sign language and people smoking and drinking and stuff like that. And so i mostly talked to the guy and now have him on my instagram. We talked for like 1 hour + (abit about travelling, abit about life, he works in tourism industry, duh and is engaged to a med student) and the night was nice and cool and the stars were nice.

And I didn't feel like sleeping so I went down to write this post in the lobby. Woo! Maybe it is time to sleep! almost 5am!

[[I wrote this at]]*|3:57 PM|

Wednesday, January 16, 2019

[[]]

I cant sleep cos the flights screw with the body clock and the sleep and the whatnot.

But after I woke up early I read this article: https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/annehelenpetersen/millennials-burnout-generation-debt-work?fbclid=IwAR0_OhGZfdMMsUE7mbgDT_HSXLNirUhiLCR9m9iH0vFE7A_Wah-8N6GF2Oc

Such a sad life, this article outlines. I would say that the pragmatics is true, that to solve the systemic issue is thru govt and stuff because the govt are screwing the millennials over because they (some other generation, in general, older also, in general) profit from it. I would say read the cost of inequality and so on and so forth. But who has time to engage in collective systemic action in order to demand that the system release to us what is ours (or at least stop exploiting us)? When you can fight to keep your head above the water and optimise. Sadly the optimisation is so individual that collective actions required to overturn the system is never done because of the prisoners dilemma and the trudge goes on and on and on. Woo! Anyway, i'm just simplistically commenting though I think there is quite alot of truth to this paragraph. Oh and of course this is not limited to the USA though I reckon it is one of the most ugly there.

For me, and some other privileged people like me, it seems that the way out is to not join the system. And live. And do the things that matter. But again, what a joke! We are still self-optimising and selfishly at that. Perhaps this is the age-old trick that the bourgeois always plays on the proletariat: That when "survival" is required, people just go into retard mode and do what everyone else is doing because it seems like the only way to survive. Maybe that is why Lenin had to be from the bourgeoise and marx too. Only with privilege are you free enough to not enter into retard mode (or otherwise, survival mode) and become and embodiment of the life you dislike. And only with privilege can you make the necessary sacrifices to incite a revolution or have some collective action towards change. Maybe thats why the PAP is so good at bankrupting its rivals.

OF course I would argue that "survival" is a term that has been manipulated. In Singapore, at least, one can survive on a lot less than most people seem to think is required. Of course that is doing without alot, e.g a car, buying a house, having a fancy wedding .etc. And of course I am speaking with a arguably ironic dose of privilege though, without said privilege I reckon I wouldn't be able to say anything because I'd be too busy working my ass off. And when you drop your level of survival, you can live! And this is what I've been advocating to many walking dead people who work long hours and rest to recover from the long hours.

But perhaps, it seems to me that perhaps the problems facing millenials is not anything new, just a lack of collective action. Instead of fighting the system, fighting within the system and letting whoever sits at the top of the system reap really really fat rewards. Imagine the system is a MLM, and instead of trying to change the structure of the MLM, you work really hard to get new clients and so on and move up the pyramid. And you get to a mid level and you wanna protect the system now because the structure favours you. All the time the people at the top have used you doubly- first to work and make them rich without them having the lift a finger, second to protect the system that has exploited you in the first place.

Perhaps I really am becoming socialist.

But then again, I have very little confidence in earthly powers to deliver lasting good or shalom or whatever. My theology is still very much centered on Christ's return - saving souls till then rather than the woke idea of transforming society .etc .etc. Perhaps some day that'll change? MLK did well I reckon, informed by theology he fought the good fight. I dunno how many souls he saved (and he lost his life) but it seems that there was some tangible good (apart from saving souls) that happened through his life. And perhaps he did save many many souls, in reforming Christianity and making it a less racist religion. Is this the path then??

That would mean EVEN less self-indulgence. And so other centered. Sigh. Selfish me doesn't wanna do that. But we shall see. Perhaps the saving souls thing is also self-indulgent? <-this a="" coming="" elaboration="" is="" just="" needs="" not="" obviously="" p="" statement="" that="" thought.="" today.="">

[[I wrote this at]]*|6:17 PM|

Tuesday, January 15, 2019

[[From Melbourne airport]]

Leaving in awhile. Kinda tired from not sleeping much. (this was written before I went to floss my teeth for 15 minutes and then rushed to the airport).

Heh talked to a malaysian student at melbourne airport. said he needed to work after graduation, said my parents are cool for letting me do this thing. Hope i managed to plant some seeds that perhaps the normal life (as he calls it) might not be the only/best option.

I'm really quite tired. But this is such a weird flight timing .etc. There was also a slight mishap at changi airport. Though the Chile visa had its predicted problems, apparently i was also required to have an aus visa because my stopover was 10 hours which is longer than 8 hours. Fortunately, an aus visa can be had on the spot for Singaporean citizens at changi airport. Unfortunately, it cost 45 sgd when it could be had for 20 sgd or 10 sgd if I had known earlier.

There is also the question of how to handle the body clock. The first flight, i.e to melbourne is fine. I didnt sleep much last night so i would sleep on the plane and now it is 1530 in melbourne and i'm tired enough to sleep well during melbourne's night. So let's assume im now synced to melbourne (Which i need to be because I don't have a hotel for this 10 hours to sleep). I'm gonna fly at 2010 from melbourne and reach at 1905 OF THE SAME DAY (I believe). The flight is 13 hours long and I would technically have gained 1 hour of time. So technically I should be slightly less tired during the flight but how do I achieve that? Very weird. I think I'll just see the inflight entertainment of latam air.

On the bright side, uncle paul says it is a 787 serviced by st engineering and apparently this would be the top of the line plane. So if anything it shouldn't be too terrible plane-wise.

The Wifi at melbourne airport is surprisingly good, like good enough to stream and thank God for that so I can play poker. I mean I was prepared to play wesnoth and/or read cost of discipleship on softcopy which would have been exceedingly tiring. LOL. And I also went to explore some airport lounges. Which I read about just recently in whiskey tango foxtrot, like swanky places where business class people (read: impt people) go to get away from the rest of the plebs that inhabit the transit area. I had a tour around one lounge and peeked into another while talking to the receptionist. I must say, the airport has a lot of space. Just so much of it is behind the premium paywall. Sad really. But that being said, there are some couches (without tables) that I first set up camp and now I bought a meal (and talked to the malaysian student) and now I have a table with a socket! Yay! Almost like staying at home except that I'm alot sleepier and I'm using the wireless keyboard instead of the wired one. And then just grinding away at poker hands and reading stuff on the internet.

Well, it has been interesting and barring the visa problems, relatively smooth. The next challenge is to get to the hostel, meet a few people that speak english/chinese and I shall be good to go until I get to the ship hopefully. Carrying 2 bags around is also quite annoying (my mum insisted I carry 2 bags because of reasons but she has since back paddled when other people keep asking me why I'm carrying 2 bags). Also quite annoying is not having a friend to look after my bags. That is indeed quite annoying, i cannot just leave my stuff and go to the toilet.

I'll probably write letter 1 either tonight or tomorrow night, which for those in Singapore (And I reckon most of you are in Singapore, will be tomorrow or day after, cos the americas are really behind on time).

[[I wrote this at]]*|12:47 PM|

Monday, January 14, 2019

[[On friendship]]

To be young again!!

Man, I'm 26 this year. TO BE YOUNG AGAIN!!!

To be the retarded kid that was writing crap 10 years ago!!

Anyway, side stuff aside, theres a few things I have been thinking about. Today I shall attempt to write some things about friendship.

So the question at hand is: what is a friend?

Perhaps more accurately, the question is what are the necessary and sufficient conditions for friendship?

The skeptic could argue that "friend" is an entirely artificial term and that this discussion is entirely about semantics and nobody cares because you can define friend whatever you like: there is no objective term "friend". I think in response to that I will suggest that my understanding of "friend" where "friend" is something desirable (normatively or even morally-ish?) has practical repercussions on me and other people who use concepts such as "friends" and perhaps they can live better or at least with greater clarity if they possess a better understanding of "friendship". Of course I am not trying to say this is what friendship MUST mean to everyone, I am just proposing several statements that I think can help better shape the understanding of friendship.

And I used to say that I hold a high idea of friendship, some sort of platonic idea where friends are supposed to better one another. I still hold that this is the time of friend that I want, but I think that perhaps it is neither necessary nor sufficient for the term "friend". Maybe it is necessary for a "close friend" but then that would just be a category to fit in what I like in a friend. And this idea can also be defined broadly or narrowly where a broad definition would allow like, if I help a friend the friend helps me be better since I can show love and patience and compassion to another while a narrow definition would be more exclusive and a friend would only help me be better if he spurs me towards being more loving and patient .etc. (instead of just being a passive recipient).

One thing that I was thinking alot about is the broad category of interaction. This is basically do friends have to speak/message/meet each other regularly and at what frequency? It seems quite intuitive to me that this is something that friends do. And it seems to me that it is something that flows out from being friends. Such that it can be an indicator of friendship but perhaps not necessary or sufficient. The sufficiency condition should be obvious, there are many people who you interact frequently with or even at depth who are not friends e.g your counsellor or psychiatrist or colleagues.

Can there be friends that talk once a year, or once in many years? It seems possible, especially if separated by geography. What if there is no geographical separation, that meeting or interacting is possible (if not convenient, enough) and there is no meeting? Would one still consider that friends? I reckon this is the idea where "friends" can go for long times without talking to each other and then catch up quickly where they left off as if nothing has changed. But it seems to me that some things have changed, almost necessarily if you grant that change is constant. And it also seems to me that time is required for a certain depth of understanding of the person. I think it is possible to, say, in 1 day a year catch up with a person and understand the person say up to 80% of what you once did with more regular interaction but this 80% (some arbitrary guess) is the max. That might be alright, you might not need a maximal amount of understanding of the other party, perhaps a reasonably high number (say 70%) is required for people to be friends.

Yeah I guess you can do the same exercise for every other condition that may be proposed.

Some other plausible conditions are:
Mutual fondness
Shared (to some degree of similarity) worldview
Willingness to divulge things about oneself
Common interests

Anyway, methinks it is some sort of combination of all yet without any clear necessary and sufficient considerations. There is also a sliding scale as to how "friend" you are with a friend. Or how close you are. And perhaps this sliding scale follows all these sort of conditions and is perhaps a summative formula!

Would like to hear your thoughts on this. Or perhaps you have another formulation of what friendship is?

Anyway this post was supposed to be much more detailed (As can be seen by the start), but I'm very distracted by needing to leave in less than 24 hours and feeling stressed so... well. This is what you get.

[[I wrote this at]]*|1:44 AM|

Tuesday, January 8, 2019

[[Uncertainty]]

So it's less than a week till i'm flying away.

And I have no idea what it's gonna be like. Like seriously. It is so unknown it borders the unknown unknown. What is latin America like? Will I be able to get around with English? Will there be many other chinese people? Whats the food like? Whats the toilets like? Hows my hostel? Will it be hard to find my way to the hostel? The embassy? Is the visa going to be problematic? Can I play frisbee there? Will be able to play poker? What will my roommates be like? Where will they be from? Will there be much theological debates? Will the bed be comfortable? Will it stink? Will I like my job? Do I have enough clothes? So many questions.

I don't know what I feel. I'm not really "excited". I find "excited" too american (or western) a term. It sounds fake too, but maybe westerners are really excited. The nearest parallel is exchange. And I believe the attitude towards exchange was one of cautious optimism. Well I guess in some sense it is also cautious optimism here. But it is a lot more unknown in this case. Like tbh, it feels so unprepared. Like for exchange, I met the NUS people going like once or twice for a meal. And I had seniors tell me about how it was like .etc. And CF ran ACE. And all that stuff. Perhaps this is much more off the beaten path. For this, I had like, a briefing like, 1 month ago. Ohwell.

When there is so much uncertainty, it is hard to have accurate feelings lol. I guess the important things are certain. Like who holds tomorrow and who holds my hand.

Yeah well, I am, in some sense, looking forward to it. I must embrace the unknown more, perhaps. Be like little child eh.

Next week has never felt so question mark before. But we shall see how it goes.

[[I wrote this at]]*|5:20 PM|

Thursday, January 3, 2019

[[(selected?) Anntic reflections]]

So I guess this is my first Anntic and also my last, most likely, especially as a camper.

It was an interesting experience. I always wondered why do people go back after graduating. Like they so free/love CF so much ah. Well for me, it was a i'm so free and I thought it wasn't a waste of my time (i.e that my time is well spent there).

This was also the first time in camp that I didn't have a "role". Which was nice and liberating. Furthermore I was a dino so, the socialising aspect was less (like many of my friends weren't around and less people to support / check in on .etc.) Like there was no keewei .etc. all the usual people I got up to mischief with I guess. Lol. But of course, one does not go to camp for the purpose of mischief, even holy mischief.

But some things still remain the same, as with everything. The purpose was still to contribute wherever I could, in whatever capacity I could. Though that was the aim (or loosely paraphrased) when I joined CF, what I can contribute or think I should contribute has changed quite a bit over the years.

Well for one this camp I'm no longer a student and had much less interest in pushing my views or making my voice heard. I've already done that during my time as a student, whatever that came out of it and methinks student ministry should be kept for students. That being said, it is interesting to see how my perspectives have changed. I like to think I've mellowed, I also like to think that I've ripened, like honey. Though probably there is much more mellowing to go.

I recall at my first SWAT, I, together with a few others, complained about an IBS trainer that suggested that parts of the Bible such as David / Abraham / Moses could have been non-historical. That this guy was spouting heresy (or at least something close to it). Reasoning was that if David was non-historical, then Jesus having descended from David would probably also be non-historical? And this sort of liberal compromise theology really seemed to make Christianity just a moralistic "poetic" "broad-concept" religion rather than something embedded within our reality, our history and space. But boy was I an angry boy hahaha. Speaking so confidently of what I believe and why I believe and stuff like that. I actually see, in all the angry people nowadays, this part of me. Like all who complained about the theme talks not using much scripture (which to be sure I made quite a few jokes about).

One of the official responses then was that the IBS trainer (some ang moh guy) was a person with very conservative convictions, a quaker if I recall correctly. I remember thinking something like "so what?". And also, "if he really holds such convictions, why is he presenting something he doesn't hold?" In other words, why present something false or perhaps "he thinks to be false" or, even more charitably, "he holds with less credence to be true"? Well, I still hold that the position that he presented is defeating to Christianity.

But there is a bigger picture. Let me attempt to theologise. I wonder when Paul and Barnabas disagreed over bringing John Mark did they bring up theological groundings in scripture. Oh something something about a person who lacks integrity. Oh something about forgiveness. They parted, and yet worked together for the gospel in some broader sense, it seems to me. There was a clear split in that they went to different regions and had different practices. But I wonder was there a sense of superiority? That oh Paul is less scriptural because he is less forgiving. Or oh Barnabas does not practice church discipline (or something like that) enough. Was there a oh Paul is a Christian but on these positions he is wrong, if you see here and here in scripture it CLEARLY shows that one should be forgiving .etc.

Perhaps this would be a good framework within which to work for church unity. That different churches can do different things for the same gospel, the same true gospel and have perfect unity in aim and goal though disagreeing on the means. It seems then, that, if I generalise back to the current situation about churches divided along denominational and who knows what, that support for the universal church would include support for ALL churches that are in the universal church. This petty infighting seems to me to be like different companies fighting for the same pie of the industry without devoting efforts to further the industry. There is some parallels to some of the ridiculous stuff (companies do) I read in the cost of inequality.

Man, I'm rambling.

Other than that there were some thoughts about how much should I talk. Like... I dunno, I'm very efficiency orientated and in a bible study I would like to cover as much as possible or at least the important things as much as possible including having sharing and stuff. So I kinda prod people along when I am leading. And I also generally have quite alot to say. But I think I held back quite a bit and it was good... I think.

[[I wrote this at]]*|12:50 PM|