What ought?
I am writing this with invaluable aid from certain books and conversations and stuff.
Christianity claims to be the total truth, the whole and absolute truth, for all of reality. In other words, it gives a statement of what reality is.
Stemming from this claim to be the whole truth are some implications (it is important to note that these come from the claim to be the whole truth rather than being standalone, methinks).
Firstly, that Christianity is exclusive. Since it claims to be the whole truth, there is no space for any other Truth (big T truth). There is space for other small truths like preferences or observations or definitions, but not competing claims to reality. If Christianity is true, all else will be false.
But I have to qualify the above with an equally important thing about Christianity. That Christianity is much larger than what one particular interpretation of Christianity. The Christian God is really big and the scriptures have many competing interpretations and we do not understand every bit of scripture fully yet. Of course humanity understands enough of it and there are boundaries as to what is true and not but this is not the subject of current discussion.
Secondly, that Christianity informs all areas of reality. There is no sphere of life that is not under Christianity. You know, I used to say that God doesn't care whether I eat chocolate flavour ice cream or strawberry flavour ice cream (and so these decisions are mine according to my preference, I said this as a response to people over-"Christianising" things. Like you can just make your own decisions.) But God does care about what flavour ice cream you consume because he is absolute and lays claim to everything. Is your decision to chose which flavor governed by love? (e.g you do not eat the entire tub of your sister's favorite flavour) wisdom? (e.g are you jeopardising your health) so on and so forth. Everything is subject to God and should be decided from a Christian worldview but within certain parameters, the Christian worldview gives much room for personal choice (and includes taking responsibility for this choices). (I am also not saying there is only one right option, there are usually multiple right options though it is a general rule of thumb that the actions and the heart behind the action has to align for "right" options).
This is to say there is no pick and choose, or to be more accurate, there is pick and choose but nothing outside of God's claim. There is no private sphere and public sphere where the private are moral decisions and the like and the public is everything else. E.g you cannot say privately I choose not to lie but in my job, which is in the public sphere, I have to obscure the truth for profit which is my duty in my job. No! Your job is claimed by God, which job you do is also claimed by God. To decide which job you want to do solely according to your preferences and metrics of the world is to reject God's claim, even if you end up working as an unpaid volunteer at an orphanage. But because this example doesn't poke my sleeping Christian friends much, let me come up with a few more. Your relationships, who you hang out with, what you say to them is all claimed by God. How you spend your money, how you spend your internet is also claimed by God. You get the picture, everything is claimed by God. Practically speaking, for the Christian, this means that you should work towards having every aspect of your life align with God's will (and desire and work to do so as hard as possible).
Ok I write second post about post-modernism later.
Yesterday (I have no data now.) I had really bad back ache. Especially after carrying 18 L of milk with another person. It was really bad for the rest of the shift that I was washing cups in. I went to the clinic, the clinic asked do I want a time off or anything (only the nurse was there and she was new, and wasn't sure what to do). I said I only wanted light duties (my shift had only 1 hour left). She said the doctor will be in tomorrow. So I returned and continued my shift and finished it without much of anything.
That night, with my back aching quite badly, I was deciding whether to go to the doctor in the morning (and hence, not go to work). And it was quite a decision. See, there were two things I wanted to avoid. I wanted to avoid skiving. And I wanted to avoid trying to be a hero (and maybe injure myself) and make myself look good? or strong or whatever). And then there was the same two things but people perceiving that. But when I was trying to decide whether to not go work and see a doctor, it seemed like these were my only two motivations (and usually the worse form of people's perception that I was most concerned about). ROFLMAO. I was trying to find some better motivation, like work for God and not feel guilty about resting when it is required. But it is so hard. Woe! Woe! When I do something it is for human praise, when I don't do something it is because I am lazy. What a tough life. What a sad plight. It is not even the action, the action is easy to change, but the motivation is so hard. I wished I would be happy to go to work and work for God if I could and not feel guilty about resting if I thought I had to (especially because people might think that I was skiving).
Anyway, I decided that I would see the doctor if it was still pain tomorrow morning and hopefully God would heal me through the night. A related short story is that when I found a really comfortable position where I couldn't feel any pain and I had just prayed that I would be healed, I was so scared to move. Because I didn't want to know whether God had miraculously healed me or not. Lmao, what faith! I was pretty sure that my faith was too weak for God to work a miracle (or something like that) and so like schrodinger's cat, I would maintain in a state of healed and yet not healed and maybe give God more time to work (i.e through the night, if I fell asleep). Anyway, after a while of thinking like that I decided to check it and when I moved/stood up, the back pain was still there. Ohwell. I think I would have been very afraid if the pain miraculously disappeared though.
The next day at 520, I woke up and checked and my back was pain. I had a short debate within myself, similar to the night before about not wanting to seem like skiving, not wanting to seem weak, not wanting to be a hero (plus other people told me to go see doctor and rest .etc.) The internal conflict was real but it wasn't between right and wrong yknow, but like how to avoid both wrongs. ANYWAY. I decided to go see the doctor. And so I told some of my roommates who were on the same shift that I wouldn't be going up and I would be seeing the doctor. After doing that I felt a lot of relief seriously, that the decision was made, one way or another.
So I went back to sleep and stuff. Then I went for safety training and some other trainining and went to see the doctor at 10-ish. The doctor basically said there was nothing he could do (no better creams, no anything only painkillers and I don't take painkillers generally). He taught some back exercises like, uh, ok. Also, he said I could work and they don't give out sick leave that easily. I was like, ok sure. Then I was like, what should I do? I already missed the early part of work and I had no sick leave, besides my back was feeling better, it appears.
I decided to join the afternoon shift. And like, sigh man, like paiseh. Like as if I tried to skive and fail (at least that was my first impression). But somehow I reframed it to I wanted to work for afternoon shift and the doctor allowed me to work. Which was true. And also face saving. And I really wanted to work well, for God. Oh man, why do I care so much about what other people think? Why do I care so much about wanting to be better than others. It is so hard to break from my culture and my sin, the frame of mind, the thinking. I guess God's plan turned out well in the end, kinda. Interesting resolution of the tension.
Oh that one could decide one's own motivations. Or rather, oh that the holy spirit would transform my motivations for the better! The right action is really easy to do for man's praise and the heart is so deceitful that your own motivations are quite obscured without strong effort for clarity and truth.
The guy sleeping in the bed beside be came back one day with the flu. And I caught it (kinda). However, I didn't miss a single day of work or off (I still joined the hike), am I still considered sick? I think it is arguable. Anyway now the acute phase is over and now is the chronic phase, so I'm coughing and maybe feeling a little tired but I think mostly well already.
One day that I was working, it was an all day shift and we were understaffed. And I was ill-ish. And then it was very busy. And someone said I should mop faster. I almost wanted to respond, felt the familiar lick of the flame of anger within (I felt like I had done more than others who were just sitting there without helping + I was sick + I do it more thoroughly + whatever other vain self-absorbed reason you can think of. You see, I'm still very much self absorbed am I not? Not easy to break out. It is the worldview that I was born into). But I didn't. Hopefully it is due to some greater maturity rather than like people around or some other circumstance (e.g being too tired). But I was angry for some time after that though I didn't really say anything, I think it was somewhat obvious that I wasn't happy to my friend. But I took a nap and it was fine.
Work wise there is now many new people (from the new PST and volunteers) and one might kinda argue that we are over staffed-ish? I don't know. Need to talk to new people and the like. But also I hate looking incompetent. Like reaaaaally. So prideful seriously. Like I hate being worse than other people in whatever job I am doing. Today I was skinning a pumpkin really badly, and I felt really bad and really annoyed. I felt like I had to prove myself yknow. I don't like to be worse than others. But why? Probably need to process this.
So in the blink of an eye, more than 1/3 of the STEP is over and I'm gonna leave in two months. And the question of what am I to do after that presents itself again. It is indeed a fun time, but it will be over so so quickly. And all these people, idk, maybe we will meet 1 or 2 times more in my life.
I feel like I haven't reached out enough this week though. Maybe it is because I haven't gone TTS and because it is harder to go out of this port (need to take shuttle bus), so no like, spontaneous walks out. But on our off day a few of us went to have a hike, and we brought some gospel of John and some other thing about whether to believe in Jesus and we gave some of it out to the people we met, like when we asked for directions and things like that. But none of us could speak spanish. We were invited into a house for some drinks though. And that was good. Well the point being that outreach should be at all times, just because we are on a off day and going for a hike doesn't mean that we take a break from telling people about Jesus presumably.
Also, people here are really interested in God's mission especially the great commission. Like significantly more than me, I feel (I always compare to the benchmark that is me, for almost everything, I also wonder whether this is good. It is natural to me for sure.) Like they all wanna be sent and like live their lives for God and wanna be more mission-minded and wanna go go go. And I'm like, hmmm. Not really. Sounds kinda tough. Sounds like a lot of work. Sounds really rewarding but at the same time, yknow, there are easier tasks that are also rewarding. I don't really wanna leave everything behind and go go go. It really is amazing at how God calls people. I guess I am late to mature (even now I am still maturing and have quite a bit to go). I mean, there are 18-20 year olds on this ship that already plan to live their whole life for God wherever God would call them. Man I only decided I wanna live my life for God like, tentatively, halfway through uni and apparently with so many caveats. Lmaoooo what a joke. There is also other people who break up with their partners because they wanna go into missions and their girlfriend/boyfriend did not have the same mindset. People who tow their newborn children onto a ship to live away from home. Grandmothers who come and serve (before they are too old?). The person who made the mop comment (see above) is actually on the ship to serve God without the knowledge of her parents because they are non-Christian. Just go yknow, because God. All these are people that I am really impressed by and look up to. I mean, the cost of me to come here is relatively low (like I don't have a family or dependents) yet yknow, these people just go. Like theres not much excuses about "practicality" or stuff like that, more of like God will provide and we will wait on God. Really the contrast is planning with God rather than planning and attempt to cram God in (which is a joke, to me, and most people only deceive themselves into thinking God has been "crammed in" (obviously they don't use this term, maybe fit in)) I think the "God factor" for coming on the ship is really more for many people on the ship than me (if you read letter 0, if you have, kinda obvious that I have other reasons to come on board as well). Plus kinda my own decision, not really like I prayed about it for any period of time or fast or whatever.
I reckon I'm trying to understand the tension and see if anything to be improved.
Well obviously maybe just be go go go seems the obvious way out. But let's work through it slowly shall we?
I also think that many times people pray weak prayers because they don't actually want God to change their lives. That is why they pray the same lame things over and over again because that is what they want. They don't want to love other people more, they don't want to sin less, they don't want a closer walk with God. For if they really do, they would be asking for it desperately, day in day out (and here I am using want in a strong sense, not the sense of like theoretical want) and asking other people to pray for them as well. Or maybe they think prayer doesn't work. It seems to me to be an almost exclusive either/or. I don't have time to go into a theology of prayer but I believe most theologies of prayer would support what I have just said.
I prayed for humility, and learning humility is painful. When I get humbled I don't like it. But I am slowly learning to appreciate it. Praying is good stuff man. Pray more, and in every season, and with other people and alone. And if you don't feel like it, pray that you will feel like it. If you are tired, pray that you be not tired so you can pray more (and not so that you can watch another drama or whatever). And pray for others, and for yourself. I find when I look out I always tend to look back into myself, cos I see things I want as well then I add myself in then I see more failures of myself then I pray for it. But still look out!
And obviously I still have much to improve in this area and many people are ahead of me in this discipline. I'm hardly a prayer warrior though I want to become one. Yknow, I used to think that prayer is not my strong suit, let other people pray while I can think and do or whatever I am better with (not codified like this obviousy but in my actions this seems to suggest it). But prayer is for everyone and especially those who want to do for otherwise, one is in huge danger of leaning on one's own strength. And also prayer is so much more than just asking things from God. It is, but it is so much more and is so good for the soul and the body and the mind that, why would anyone not wanna grow in this area? But take this not as if as I am saying I am better than you and you should thus pray more to get up to pace with whatever lame standard I might have, but from a fellow brother, a fellow traveller on how to live life well and journey towards death well. And we might see each other at the end. So pray for me. And ask me to pray for you.
It is morebetter than remembering me and I remembering you.
I've been thinking about building kingdoms in work and ministry. Singapore society has thought me well to build my own kingdom. Like in academics and all that, we always care for ourselves, to work for your own interests and protect them. Helping people is good and all but first and foremost secure your own progress, your own success amirite? And it is an attitude that is brought to work and ministry. When you do anything, make sure people acknwoledge, that you get the credit. Don't let people take advantage and claim the credit for what you do. Do your own part well, then if still got energy you can help other people. So many people work to be praised, for human praise, for human acknowledgement, for the next promotion, for attaching your name to the work <- .etc.="" .etc="" as="" being="" can="" course="" describe="" emphasis.="" if="" it="" make="" nicer="" of="" p="" proud="" sound="" wanna="" work="" you="" your="">
And this leads to things like wayang. Where people act like they are working without actually working because the perception of having worked is more important than having done work. Or smoking (as in smoking an exam or a presentation or whatever).
And I guess it is second nature to me to defend my "work" that people know that it is mine. But here it is slightly different. There is a set amount of work that has to be done. It varies each day and different people are allocated different segments each day. But the aim is to finish the work as a team, as a family. And so I was told off (not really like in a criticising way, but kinda) when I said like, this batch was done by the morning shift (the batch was done wrong) i.e not me.
Well I understand that in a society that is trying to sift out who is better than who (and hence should be rewarded or punished accordingly), it is important to tag the work to the person. I think most of you, people who call yourselves Christians would think something along the lines of do your job well, don't steal credit but also don't let people steal credit for what you do. And ofc gossip about the people who steal credit (lel, maybe I should delete this line but whatever) and call them wayang or hard-to-work-with. At least it is/was my attitude.
But here, the point is to finish the work, not to tag yourself to the work most accurately. To put it in other words, the honour is in doing the work rather than an acknowledgement of having done the work. If I attempt to reduce it further this goes back to the reality vs appearance issue, do you focus on substance or appearance of substance for, unfortunately, it is quite easy to have one without the other. I think the kicker here is that God gives the acknowledgement, and he gives the acknowledgement perfectly and in the most just manner.
What a beautiful way to do work. And when it is done, work comes alive. We are not competing as a team to show who is better (unlike bell curve or whatnot). We are also not fighting for promotion. Neither are we there to prove ourselves. The strong (who finish faster) help the weak (who are slower). The strong (who can carry heavier things) help the weak (who cannot). Everyone works together and finishes together. It is not as if I do my job super fast so I get a break while the rest who are slower carry on. But if I finish my job fast, I help others so we can all rest as soon as possible. Quite against Singapore culture I would think.
I wish all of my friends would have such an experience tbh. Building one's own kingdom yields reward here on earth. But building something else. Man, that is beauiful in the sense that it is so fitting. I wish we learnt how to work and not just build our own kingdoms. Singapore education system really teaches you how to build your own kingdom well tho. I must say.
On a side note: https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/can-christians-believe-in-evolution
So I went on my first C-day on Wednesday, 6/2/19. A C-day is connect day where you, yknow, connect with people. Think of it as ministry day. So on tuesday, I still received no email about my c-day. So I went to bug the relevant people about it. They said they would send me an email by day-end. I think thereafter I went for a workshop (about an evangelistic tool called one wish) and then chinese new year lunch and then I started work.
At night, I checked my email. There was one email about "pls meet at dining room at 7pm" and another one about met at dining room tmr, the day itself, at 8am. Since I checked after 7pm, I replied and said I would be there for 8am. But I didn't have a clue how the person(s) looked like but whatever. The email also said we would be going to another city, a 1.5hrs drive away to visit some children who were under government custody cos their parents have problems (something like that). And also a church service. And the point of contact was a local pastor.
The next day! I missed 745 devotions cos I had to meet them at 8am. at 0805 I found one person. Then the person giving the brief from onshore events came at like 0810 and the team leader arrived at like 0825 (he attended the meeting at 7pm the day before). Ok. So they ran through what we needed, some childrens programme some presentation about missions for the church, stuff like that, someone had to preach. Oh and the team was 3 people, 2 people on the ship for 1.5 years and me, first c-day. lol. And they were also told like last night. So we said a prayer and stuff then said we have to meet at lobby at 1030, go prepare whatever you have to do. So I meet team leader at like 0930 or something, download some multimedia using his thumbdrive into his tablet. Or something like that. Then it was like almost 1000 so I said I was gonna take a short nap. But instead I ended up talking to some guest from China that I met at a CNY fellowship and like, telling her about Jesus or at least some of what I thought about Jesus and worldviews (cos she wasn't Christian). At 1030 I was there with the other girl, shes Brazillian. The team leader is from Curacao and he was slightly late but alls good. We shake hands and stuff witht he pastor and his wife and bundle into his car. Wooo. We took a 1.5 hour drive. Really long, and the car had no air-con. And I was really sleepy cos of the warmth. So I mostly slept.
Anyway, we get to the other city, san antonio. And they talk in spanish, and I don't understand. And I'm sitting in the middle, and my back hurts. They talk abit more once the car stops and the pastor's wife goes to the door and starts knocking or something. And I'm like whats going on. And apparently we are not visiting the children anymore because they are closed or something and instead we are seeing if we can visit this group of other children that they work with. Okaaay. Interesting. After 10 minutes of waiting, it seems the answer was no (lol when I read the programme brief, that some of you have, the only part I saw was this). And I was like what are we gonnna do. And my team members said no idea and they seemed really unperturbed.The answer was apparently some sight seeing. So we did that, a short bit, for like 15 minutes. Or so. Nice view.
And then we go to the church. To have lunch. And there were like 10 other people, including the pastor's 3 children. Lunch was delicious, empanadas. I tried my best to make conversation through google translate and the like. Then we were kinda ushered to the front to present. And they were setting up a computer. And apparently we are going to be streamed live to another churhc in argentina. Cool, I guess. Anyway my more experienced team members did most of the talking. I think I introduced myself and like shared a story and that was about it. So it was like spanish convo spanish convo spanish convo and then, oh they want you to share a story of your experience on board. And the team leader was like I can go first. So he shared a story in Spanish. And I had like 2-3 weeks experience on board. I had no idea what story he shared or how it connected to the convo in front or not but I shared some story from the previous port about my friends whom I met and the Brazillian girl translated. (Yknow, the thing is that both of them can speak spanish, so there is quite little need for translation. IF the group was bigger and had more non-spanish speakers, I'm pretty certain there would be more translation.) So I was quite lost and stuff but whatever, God can use whatever right. It seemed alright. After that they told me that time was tight so there wasn't enough time to translate but I was really quite lost. Oh and the pastor and his wife was facilitating it so it was like 4 spanish speakers and 1 clueless lost me.
ANYWAY. Then more people came and apparenty we are having a church missions service midweek. Ok. So we are guests. And we sit in the front at the side. And they sing in spanish, and when I recognise the song I sing in english with them. Anyway. Then the team leader presents in spanish and stuff, about unreached people group and how OM wants to mobilise 2000 latinos to go to the 40-10 corridor and stuff like that. Me catch no ball throughout, rmb this is all in spanish. Then the brazillian girl goes and preaches a sermon in spanish. And again, me catch no ball. And then I said I wanna do something, so I was given a short segment which is presenting the ship through numbers in an interactive game. Anyway, so I decided to ask the audience for a trnaslator instead of using my team members. Like I said, through my team leader, that "as you all know, I can't speak spanish and my team members have been speaking alot and I know that some of you are studying english so if you could come to the front and help me translate". And the person I was originally intending to didn't come up front cos she was shy (Apparently, as she mentioned quite a bit later). But another boy, the bassist, came forward and I think it was alright!Then there was a really long sermon by the pastor's wife. Like really long. And I didn't understand anything.
But my two team members were also switching off. Lel. And we use phone. And stuff. But the sermon ended, and I got to talk to some of the younger people. And they said they wanna join the ship. I said some stuff, both practical and theoretical (for one they are too young to join the ship). And all was good. And they said they can come visit the ship. They said they were visiting on saturday. And I said oh I can show you guys around. And I have their number and some of them on instagram. Which was good. And I also showed them around on saturday. Which was also good. And brought the pastor, his wife and son for lunch on ship. But I had to rush to work after that so yeah.
Anyway. After that we leave san antonio for the long ride home. And I was more energetic so I was awake for most of the ride while they slept beside me. And I prayed. And then I slept for the last 1/3 of the journey or something. Then we said our goodbyes and returned to the ship. And it was 10pm. And we had debrief. And I hadn't eaten dinner. And there was no food. And no bowls and no cups. And my friend gave me a pack of maggi mee. And I took a dirty bowl and washed it. And that was great.
Today I asked a 19 year old, after work, what he was going to do. He said he was going to do some reading. I asked read what. He said the word of God. I said oh? What are you gonna read in the word of God? He said the rest of acts and 1 cor. I said thats pretty long. He said yeah? and then we parted.
Thats the way man. Yknow, people who set the bar high, take their walk with God seriously, make me feel ashamed of how lightly I take reading the Bible (although I do read it daily). As opposed to, yknow, in Singapore when I keep hearing people struggling to read the bible, struggling to do qt, struggling to pray everyday and this is continuous yknow, like not as if they had an off week, they have had an off life. It makes me feel like I've done enough, comparatively. But man, what I do is far from enough, I mean I know it is far from enough, i wanna pray more, read more, walk closer with God. But the environment is so unchallenging, it is the opposite of challenging, actually.
And disclaimers I understand it is not works based or whatnot. I also understand that everyone has their own walk and own level of maturity and own season and all that. But sometimes I wonder whether it is even a Christian community if like the majority are not even keen to put in effort to walk closer to God.
Also today's sermon also some other talk.
When I started working, there was this one incident as I was sense-making the ship environment, especially the interpersonal relations. I asked someone about ship discipline (we just had a briefing, earlier in the day, in which some basic things were outlined like if you are repeatedly late you have to work for 1 hour more for a week), trying to figure out, yknow, how much of the system I could push if I wanted to push and such (the standard stuff). So I asked what happens if a person is consistently performing badly and/or with poor attitude. The reply was to love the person as discipline. Or rather, more accurately, use love to discipline the person. Then I said, what if the person is really bad, like really problematic. And the reply was in super serious cases we would send the person off the ship i.e back to where he came. In all other cases, no matter how serious or persistent, we would use love to discipline the person.
Wow. That's crazy man. Think about it, use love to discipline the person. I was thinking along the lines of some incremental punishment, with like a few warnings before the "pressure" is cranked up. But using love to discipline, thats new, and that kinda blew my mind (I'm not one of those that use #mindblown easily for any stupid half amusing thing so yeah, I thought it was really quite something). How does one use love to discipline? How does a community use love to discipline? Imagine a country where love was used, by everyone, to discipline. That's crazy man. Imagine a country where love is used to discipline everyone unless the person is really super duper beyond rescue (e.g person is injuring/killing others wontonly without rational reason) then the person is killed. That be a crazy country, a country I would love to stay in. It seems to me that the biggest argument against using love to discipline is that you will be giving too much from yourself to the other person, and that people will take advantage of it. But it seems. also to me, that you cannot take advantage of love. How do you take advantage of love? When love is freely given without expectation of anything in return? What ever you take advantage of is not taking advantage of, but is using what is freely given. And love here is not a passive laxity, a bochup. It is an active force that loves and wills the person well, like to the deepest. It is not vindicative, it doesn't thirst for blood or punishment.
It seems to me that love really changes people in a disciplining manner. Sometimes love is seen as annoying, e.g when a mother nags or something. But it seems to me that nagging is annoying, not love. Alot of things masquerade as love. Sometimes it is selfishness that poisons love. Othertimes it is not wanting to do enough. Let me postulate that perhaps nagging (especially the annoying kind) is not enough love rather than love, where one is content to only say without getting hands dirty to do and to help. More love, yknow, if it is that important, plead, beg, hold, hit, write a letter, make a video, talk properly instead of talking past. Don't just nag and stay on your pedestal, oh I ???? say so much my child/ward/friend/whatever still doesn't listen to me. I honestly think love is that powerful, and moves one to take action, putting down oneself. Parents don't want to beg their children, nor do they want to do all the other things because it takes effort, because they fear rejection, because nagging is easier, you an say you did your part and they shut you out. But if you REALLY love, how do people shut you out? I postulate that many time nagging backfires is because people see it as what it is, not enough love rather than what the nagger perceives to be love. Anyway, this was a digression into nagging just because it was the example chosen. My contention is that true love leads to strong action that changes people.
You might have noticed that I am using a strong sense of love. A very strong sense of love, not just some emotion or general feeling of fondness or desiring well-being. There is also a case where a person is misled and the other person knows the person is misled and what the person is rejecting is no the love but the incorrect knowledge that leads to incorrect action. For example, a child may reject drinking alkali water that the parent prepares for the child because the child knows that alkali water is a health scam. Or something like that. Also, I'm not complaining about my parents. Any resemblance is purely coincidental.
It seems to me that love rightly expressed cannot be annoying unless the person hates love itself and wants to not be loved. I think love, done rightly, will lead to either a complete seperation or wholehearted acceptance (and accompanying change). For love is unrelentless and active. There is no place for a frigid relationship. Or love-hate. Or any other in between. If a person knows what is right and loves another (and, I guess, given enough time), the loved person either accepts the love or rejects the person entirely.
I think the above discussion sheds alot of light on God's love for us. And Jesus's death on the cross, sparing nothing. And the law. And sin. And everything. This whole creation story is God disciplining us through love! Forming us in his image through love! That's a revolutionary way for me to think of it, at least.
Practically speaking I'm sure that logos hope fails in disciplining through love perfectly for we are all human. But oh! What a wonderful attempt! And what blessedness it is! It is really towards heaven on earth. More on that probably in a blogpost- something about people from everywhere worshipping (through working) God (tbh I think this is how heaven will be, though the work will be different from the current work to tell peoples about Jesus). What wonderful work we will do in heaven where it is not toil and is worship!
Having writen all this, it seems that now I have to hold myself to a really high standard of love. God have mercy lol. I think the route I'm going to take is to acknowledge that I do not love enough and work on loving more. Because to hold that you love, you have to show through actions and my actions do not overflow enough, methinks.
[[Book wishlist (lend me pls)]]
[[The Story Thus]]
|January 2008|February 2008|March 2008|April 2008|May 2008|June 2008|July 2008|August 2008|September 2008|October 2008|November 2008|December 2008|January 2009|February 2009|March 2009|April 2009|May 2009|June 2009|July 2009|August 2009|September 2009|October 2009|November 2009|December 2009|January 2010|February 2010|March 2010|April 2010|May 2010|June 2010|July 2010|August 2010|September 2010|October 2010|November 2010|December 2010|January 2011|February 2011|March 2011|April 2011|May 2011|June 2011|July 2011|August 2011|September 2011|October 2011|November 2011|December 2011|January 2012|February 2012|March 2012|April 2012|May 2012|June 2012|July 2012|August 2012|September 2012|October 2012|November 2012|December 2012|January 2013|February 2013|March 2013|April 2013|May 2013|June 2013|July 2013|August 2013|September 2013|October 2013|November 2013|December 2013|January 2014|February 2014|March 2014|April 2014|May 2014|June 2014|July 2014|August 2014|September 2014|October 2014|November 2014|December 2014|January 2015|February 2015|March 2015|April 2015|May 2015|June 2015|July 2015|August 2015|September 2015|October 2015|November 2015|December 2015|January 2016|February 2016|March 2016|April 2016|May 2016|June 2016|July 2016|August 2016|September 2016|October 2016|November 2016|December 2016|January 2017|February 2017|March 2017|April 2017|May 2017|June 2017|July 2017|August 2017|September 2017|October 2017|November 2017|December 2017|January 2018|February 2018|March 2018|April 2018|May 2018|June 2018|July 2018|August 2018|September 2018|October 2018|November 2018|December 2018|January 2019|February 2019|March 2019|April 2019|May 2019|June 2019|July 2019|August 2019|September 2019|October 2019|November 2019|December 2019|January 2020|February 2020|March 2020|April 2020|May 2020|June 2020|July 2020|August 2020|September 2020|October 2020|November 2020|December 2020|January 2021|February 2021|March 2021|April 2021|May 2021|June 2021|July 2021|August 2021|September 2021|October 2021|November 2021|December 2021|January 2022|February 2022|March 2022|April 2022|May 2022|June 2022|July 2022|August 2022|September 2022|October 2022|November 2022|December 2022|January 2023|February 2023|March 2023|April 2023|May 2023|June 2023|July 2023|August 2023|September 2023|October 2023|November 2023|December 2023|January 2024|February 2024|March 2024|April 2024
[[The Talk (also silent)]]
[[The Ancients]]