[[How has been]]

Thursday, March 21, 2019

[[Punta Arenas story 2]]

So because I know the guy doing c-days, he gave me kinda like a choice whether to go to a school and share or go to a church as part of a 3 day program . I chose the 3 day program. And he put me as team leader. LOL. Anyway, so we had to leave at 1730 and we were to conduct 2 hours of evangelistic workshop, teaching them how to use various evangelistic tools. And so I sent an email to the team of 7, nice and early, saying let us meet on the day at 830 (after devotions). And I told those I knew in the team personally. And immediately one girl said can we meet after lunch, we don't have to go to devotions on c-day and she want to sleep in. It was also her birthday on the day of the c-day. So ok, I changed it.

Anyway, on the day itself, I was informed my port volunteer is cancelled, so it is now a team of 6. Ok its fine, no problem. I got to the place. And after awhile my two catering people joined me. And then waited and waited. After 20 minutes past the time they said I can go find the two comms people. So I did. And they said they are not part of the c-day per se, they are there to cover the event. I was like, ok, but do you wanna prepare one evangelistic tool, maybe we will use it. They said ok. And I put it as the backup. After that I went to ask for some help to hunt down the last member of the group which was our spanish speaker, naibi. And when we hunted her down she was like, oh? I have a c-day today? And she was also leaving the ship next week and so this was her last c-day. So anyway we prepared (quite abit more than usual). And I snuck a half dinner before 530. At 530 they called the pastor contact and he said he would be there at 645. And so we had to eat dinner. And also one of the comms people decided not to come? And so now we had only 5 people. (I think this made the church use 2 cars to fetch us which was not really needed since 5 people don't need 2 cars).

So we went to the church and we presented everything. And everything was great. I also prayed that I could speak in Spanish cos I was obeying the earnestly desire speaking in tongues. But I didn't speak in spanish but I spoke in English quite well (I think) and naibi translated well. And everything ended at like 10 then we went back to the ship at 11. And I overslept the next day morning shift of 5.55am (was late by 5 mins).

Anyway on the second last day open to public naibi told me they were coming and the small boy really liked me and had a present for me (maybe I'll attach a photo). But I had a birthday celebration, a Singaporean uncle had a birthday and he was treating people (20 people) to a Chinese restaurant. So I couldn't make it. But on the way there we ran into the mum of the boy and we spoke through google translate for awhile, said something about leaving it with naibi. But naibi informed me that they were coming again tomorrow after the dinner. So I met them after dinner. And it was the last day the ship was open to public and closes at 2000. I met them at 1952. And the small boy, really cute small boy with such red cheeks named christobal passed me the gift whcih was a necklace with a tooth attached to it. There was also a note written on it in those kinda childish handwriting. Was great. His dad was also there. I wanted to give them a tour but the bookfair guy said it was past closing time. Naibi came also. They invited us to go out for dinner, but I had something on at 2100, a book club and naibi had her farewell party or something like that at 2100 (she was leaving the next day). And it was like oh so sad, we cant go and we are leaving chile. But after that naibi (she from mexico btw) said lets give them a tour. I was like, but it is past closing time. But she experienced girl so she just went ahead. And I just tagged along. On the way she brought 2 other people along for the tour as well. And the service desk told us to give the tour quickly. And I was like yes seems like it was gonna be a really quick tour (cos really no time). But naibi went on the tour really chilled and was going on and on in spanish. And her tour was quite different from how I usually give tour, maybe cos she knows more about the ship and the bigger picture (she was in line-up). And halfway through there was an annoucement "it is time to say goodbye to our visitors and volunteers, please bring all yellow and pink badges to the service desk" (2030 ish). I was like, oh there it goes, end of tour. But naibi really didn't give a shit and just went on which was so funny to me. And we went from the front of the ship to the back. And she also brought them into quite a few areas not in the "official" tour route. And when we finished at the back of the ship at about 2100. And I thought they were gonna leave. BUT NAIBI SAID IM GONNA TAKE THEM TO THE BRIDGE (which is back at the front of the ship). I'm like wow you really don't care eh. LOL. But it was really her last night so I really think she didn't really care and it might be part of her style anyway. And so we went back to the bridge. LOOOOL. And then I told them they gonna be the last visitors in chile. Which was cool I guess. And we also talked about other stuff. And all was good.

[[I wrote this at]]*|11:55 PM|

[[Punta Arenas To the Streets (from newsletter)]]

n the first day of port, I went for to the streets. And they were supposed to tie up with a church but apparently the church people didn't reply. So we had no idea where to go but we just headed out to the streets to tell people about Jesus. It was like, yknow, pray and see where God leads then go. So we went. I pinched two expired cans of sprite to give out. And we ended up talking to this bunch of homeless people sitting at the street corner on some cardboard. They were also all passing around 5 litre platic bottles of wine and taking swigs from them. And it was a very cold day. I think the felt temperature was lower than 10 degrees and by nightfall, it probably felt lower than 5 (cos I was cold in an attire that should be fine up to lower than 5). And so we just went up to them and talked, right. The first guy I talked to told me about how he was from valpariso and such and such about his life. Some basic information. Then after some questions I asked about his mum and sister he was visiting. And like, he started crying and stuff talking about how his mum had cancer and was very sick. And I wanted to just pray for him. But he also talked about some things like how he likes to be on the street corner to talk to these people. And he showed us keys and stuff about how he owns his own house. But at the same time he asks them for the wine and they do not give it to him (like he is ostracised?). And he kept randomly quoting psalms (remember all this is in spanish and I am speaking through a translator) from some sort of his catholic upbringing whenever we tell him about Jesus. And I started having some doubts about like whether he was saying the truth or like what was he trying to portray? And I wanted to just pray and move on to the next person. But then my translator got dragged away and a new translator joined and he started repeating the entire story to the translator and the translator was very interested but I was like yeah I heard it already and I was confused as to why he is repeating the whole story (like he really wants people to listen to him maybe?). Anyway that was interesting. I talked to several other people.

Then after awhile we gathered as a big group to pray (all holding hands). And one girl, who was sitting on the cardboard the entire time kept interrupting the prayer (in a disruptive manner) and like shouting in spanish. And after awhile she also kept hitting the backside of the guy praying (one of us from the ship). And one of the other homeless people kept asking her to shut up. And after awhile this other homeless person grabbed the 5l bottle of wine and poured it over her. Remember the weather that I talked about previously. And all of us were shocked and all but the prayer went on and some OM chile lady kept praying after that really loudly (all in spanish).

So anyway during the prayer I was holding the hand of one guy that I talked to previouly. And his hand had a lot of sores. And also it had alcohol and he smelt of alcohol. I thought about it but decided the right thing to do would be to hold his hand and do it in a desiring to manner. So I did. (reflect on this guys, not that I have a low standard of hygiene and all, but that we are called to love such people and Jesus was the dude that touched lepers and stuff.) Part 3 of to the streets story is this guy. What happened was I saw him choking after taking a really big swig of wine (which is to stay warm and to forget, in case you haven't figured it out). And I wanted to ask him if he was ok. In my limited spanish I asked "Tu bueno?" which is "you good?". But apparently they do not have that understanding of you good and he answered about how he is a good person but he did things in his past. But now he sees the light. And he said he sees from my eyes that I did something bad and am here to atone for it or something. And I was saying that I was bad but I am not here to atone for anything. And I wanted to talk about grace and Jesus but someone else cut in to talk about Jesus. At about this time I saw the lady that had wine poured over her run out from a bar toilet with her pants down (just fyi I averted my eyes immediately). Some people from my group went to pray with her and for her and she asked if they were gonna sexually abuse her or something (really broken people I guess) and cry and stuff like that.

But anyway after awhile this guy got quite defensive and said something about some people within our group talking bad about him (apparently some guy yawned and said something in english). And he went away. I went to talk with him again and the more evangelistic people came and he got quite defensive. Something about the noises in his head and something about he is too much of a sinner. And he took out this rusty chain from his pocket with a lock attached to it and said he is a good person and hence not creating trouble (some veiled threat or something). He then walked off.

Anyway so in the rest of the week I kept praying for him (also cos I wanna grow in my prayer and in faith). I prayed that I wanted to see him, before the ship left, on the ship and sane. And like one day before I still remembered and prayed again but yknow, in my heart i'm like, thats not going to happen. On the day before the ship left. I went for a 10km run with another person. And on the way back, we met 4 of the homeless people including the guy (whose name is rodger?) walking on the shore, seemingly in high spirits. And I was so happy yknow, like a partial answering of my prayer. And I talked to them for a short while and all. But yeah, growing in prayer.

[[I wrote this at]]*|11:46 PM|

Saturday, March 16, 2019

[[Part 2: On interaction with post modernism]]

Let me start by asserting that a genuine Christian cannot remain holding a post-modernist, relativistic framework.

Postmodernism is actually a genius move by whichever forces are opposing the Truth. Because there is no need to present an opposite truth when you just fudge the concept of Truth itself. But this idea that there is no truth is itself an alternative/opposite truth.

There is a particular way of evangelising to people steeper in post modernism. That there are many personal truths to many people. And why not choose Christianity as YOUR personal truth? And to be honest, people may come into this view by trying to deconflict their inherited Christian faith with the postmodern culture around them. That there are many truths but I choose Christianity as my truth because I think it is the best (e.g way to live or way to orientate life or I can gain the most from it).

But that is an incomplete understanding of Christianity and a woefully inadequate understanding. For truth is to be believed because it is true. Not because it is of some utility or because it brings you happiness .etc. And truth makes demands on you, and truth doesn't care if it is believed. It doesn't bend over backwards so that you can be more comfortable. But your personal truth is different. You can and you will twist it. You will pick and choose. And trim away corners. Because it is yours you see, not something independent and free standing. Truth is that which makes demands on us, not the other way around.

I think this postmodernist conception of Christianity is the latest way, or the newest reincarnation of a false gospel, a tame and weak God that only loves and gives grace. Because that is what you want to believe. And you do not share your subjective truths, even if you do share it you come from the angle that it is good and believe because it is good. It IS good, and it IS true. And belief should be because of both (at least) and it produces a joyful belief.

That is not to say that you cannot come to believe from choosing Christianity as your personal subjective truth. But you really become a Christian when you mature (and this is contentious but I shall stand by it at the moment) and start to know and break free from the postmodern groundings and accept it as objective truth.

FOR WHAT GOOD IS A SUBJECTIVELY TRUE GOD. Isn't it a form of self-delusion. And you are indulging in it by being a "subjective Christian". PLIS. Some people even swallow this pill and say yes it is some sort of mechanism to get through life. Such poor souls. No faith whatsoever, no courage. Just a desire to get through life.

I'm sure this can be elaborated and explore down many a rabbit hole. If anyone wants to do it i'd be happy to listen.

[[I wrote this at]]*|9:26 AM|

Friday, March 8, 2019

[[So you can't fit in your church]]

So I just had a thought, and I'm aware that I haven't wrote the postmodernism thing a few posts ago.

The thought is, so you can't fit in your church.

I've been having many conversations about church about how church can be done differently. About how maybe it is time for a local but not in a particular building church or particular denomination or a particular congregation. But this is not about that LOL.

The thought is, so you can't fit in your church, why?

Do you think that your church is a genuine church, that the people are members of the body of Christ? If so, why can't you, as a part of the body of Christ, not fit into the body of Christ? How does that make sense?

Personal preferences?

Ok I'm not scolding anyone or anything. Just a thought. Maybe im in a cloud now.

[[I wrote this at]]*|10:37 AM|

Saturday, March 2, 2019

[[Truth in Singaporean culture]]

I was reading aboout how every culture has God in them and it is the job of the missionary to illuminate God, who is already there, to them. Rather than bringing God (which implies that God wasn't there earlier.

So I was thinking where is God in Singaporean culture? Or how can one see God in Singaporean culture?

And I was thinking about like, kiasu culture. Or always striving to be number one. Striving towards perfection and for improvement. A fear of remaining stagnant. The constant comparing. I think that all these do show God. Something like that.

It seems to me that God has put perfection in the heart of men. That men naturally seeks perfection that man naturally seeks improvement. And that we want to grasp at it, that we want to expend effort to possess it. Of course we got what is perfection a little muddled. And the means towards improvement might not be the best.

But it seems to me that if we, within Singapore culture, who are afraid of losing out that we join any random queue. What would it look like if we had this attitude towards God. Like what if we were afraid to lose out on serving God and missing any spiritual gift that we eagerly tried every ministry to see if we are gifted in that area. And queued up overnight for it.

What if we who want to be number one in everything, transpose this desire to be number one before God. And since God says the first will be last and the last will be first, we strove to be number one in serving one another? What if we kept comparing but comparing not to be better but to look out for the weaker?

Man this is really not developed but pls do comment or engage.

Rather than ditch our Singaporean culture for some random western culture of Christianity that is imported and alien, why don't we transform our culture and bring our culture under Christ.

I mean, I was pretty perfectionistic and always wanted to be the best, and wanted people to think the best of me. And we shall see what happens if this is transformed by Christ right?

God created us different and with different strengths and all right. After becoming Christian we ought to not change ourselves in the sense of becoming a model "Christian" that is not yourself, but relate to God in your own way and serve God in your own way with your strengths and weakness and all. It is to be transformed and changed. Radically transformed and changed for sure but not replaced by something else.

[[I wrote this at]]*|9:15 AM|

Friday, March 1, 2019

[[]]

God is crazy big (obviously i'm not talking about physical size, the English language doesn't have a precise enough word, it seems). Bigger than my mind can fully comprehend. Incredibly complex. What hope does the created have of understanding the creator? Even understanding self is almost impossible since to fully understand, it appears that one would have to be bigger than it. Have you seen self understanding programs or a machine or an animal or whatever? Did you know that you cannot have a too big conception of God, only too small? And these two small conceptions of God are often idols?

God is crazy holy. Did you know that if you see God you will die? That if God were to show himself in his glory it would be brighter than a nuclear bomb and even more destructive for fallen sinful creation?

Prayer is crazy. You have a direct line to the greatest being in the universe, able to break strongholds of sin within you and set captives free and give all sorts of gifts. And you ask for safety, for life to essentially be the same. LOL. Or strength to go through the life you choose for yourself, like coffee? What you need is coffee maybe? Or sleep earlier?

Or you say you have nothing to say.

Come on, go get a greater understanding of God.

[[I wrote this at]]*|9:26 AM|