[[How has been]]

Thursday, April 16, 2020

[[]]

Sometimes I look back and wonder. Am I the only one that looks back? At all that once was. How beautiful it was. And feeling happy and content and sated. But it now is no longer. Which is perfectly fine cognitively.

It is also fine emotionally. Sometimes though, I just want to hold it a bit longer. To feel the nostalgia. To enjoy the past. I think that's fine too. But it cannot translate into a present longing for what once was. I think that wouldn't be fine.

It is not that the present is bad. I shall try to be more present.

[[I wrote this at]]*|9:51 PM|

Saturday, April 11, 2020

[[]]

Keep me from forgetting the depths of my depravity and sin, that I might recognise grace and mercy.
Keep me from forgetting because your reminders are painful to go through.
Keep me from forgetting lest one day I look back and give my self too much credit.
Keep me from forgetting so I shall have less pride and fall less.
Keep me from forgetting the folly of my youth. Or I shall repeat them over and over again.

[[I wrote this at]]*|2:07 AM|

Wednesday, April 8, 2020

[[The perfect crime?]]

Sarah had plotted the perfect crime.

It was simple really. Take a gun, act like you are going to kill everyone. Force everyone, in that sense, to turn themselves to stone. Simple self preservation right? When you wave a gun in someone's face, that person would turn himself or herself into stone to prevent being shot. Well that is, unless they value their earthly possessions more than life.

Once they were stone, their possessions were yours for the taking. Really simple really. Don't even need to go through the whole mess of killing people. This stoning option really turned people into wimps.

Plus it is not as if they were forcing them to turn to stone. It was of their own free will. Nobody could force anyone to turn themselves to stone because it was a mental exercise and mind control hasn't been developed yet. All Sarah had to do was to nudge their calculus of to stone or not to stone. And if they weren't actively thinking of the possibility in the flight or fight mode, they could always be prompted indirectly.

Even if they forced someone to turn to stone, what crime would it be? The person didn't age, didn't get injured, didn't lose anything. He would just merely be transport from one circumstance to the other. Was that a crime? Was replacing living in 2020 with living with 2030 a crime? How would you even compare that? On what basis would that be considered hurt? Or perhaps the thing that the stonee lost was the ability to turn to stone within the next 1 year?

And she could always reveal that her gun was unloaded and so there was no intent or means to kill anyone if things went to a trial.

Sarah had been following this middle aged man - a money changer - 2 blocks. She hurried through the crowd to press the cold metal into his spine. No one would suspect anything amiss until he stopped moving and she would have left with his brief case without breaking stride.

Sarah didn't expect the man to move with surprising dexterity and deliver a knuckle duster to her forehead, splitting it open - well before she could turn to stone.

[[I wrote this at]]*|10:56 PM|

Sunday, April 5, 2020

[[]]

Today's zoom was so encouraging. Sometimes I feel like I am detached from that which I was. I do things due to convictions I had. I remember doing things due to the same convictions. But amidst life and working, man it is so easy to forget. And forget in the second sense (see two posts down).

That was some good encouragement. I be still. Probably means playing sf less at least.

[[I wrote this at]]*|11:32 PM|