I am in a writing mood. But what is there to write?

So maybe I should write some reflections on my daily bible reading. Maybe... But idk if that will become insipid after awhile. And I am quite lazy.

Man I really feel I am not bored enough. There are too many things clamouring for my attention. And I can't get rid of them for a long enough time to be bored.

I wanna be bored. For only when you are bored, and you lean into it, can you surpass what you already are. Like unlocking a new level. 

Think I really wanna go to a cabin in lapland for quite a few months. To be bored. And to read. And to write. And to hunt reindeer and fish. And whatever else. It sounds so fun. And to eat like white bread with butter. And a wheel of cheese maybe.

To visit town every fortnight. Or maybe less. Or maybe more. To be y'know.

Long ago, before I started working (not that long really), my aim was to be. And I was. To a decent degree. But after starting work, it is hard to be. It is always easier to do. And doing is always addictive because you can always be better at doing. But being is a different plane!! Maybe thats what being bored unlocks. Being instead of doing. You can do better and optimise more, but at no stage of doing better will you ever become into being.

Work eats time. Handphone game breaks time. Stock market checking breaks time. Sleep breaks time. Meeting people breaks time.

And man, at the start of being bored, you go through the withdrawal symptoms, the loneliness, the longing for it to be back, the noise, the comforting white noise. But I guess, maybe you just have to cycle through it. And maybe you can be happily bored. After much effort.

Rage rage, rage against what shouldn't be. But raging shouldn't be doing only.

Once in a state of happily bored, it is the massive value time. But soon it too, will pass. And you will go back to doing. Because with a new state of being, you can do more. Or not really, out of a new state of being, you will do "better"? In a qualitative sense. But then I will probably be sucked back into doing, slowly, gradually. So maybe just enjoy it while it lasts. No point fighting cycles. Just let them cycle through. Lean into it and spin. Like yknow, if you like the top of the swing, you can try to stay there, but then when it is on the downswing, just  lean into it, and you will get another upswing to savour.