[[How has been]]

Friday, January 31, 2025

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I just finished JJK both season 1 and 2.

I thought season 1 was not bad... but season 2 sucked. Gave me later seasons of 7 deadly sins vibes. Where just a bunch of people fighting each other.

Seriously... I think a fight shouldn't be more than half an episode. It really isn't that interesting how ever many flashbacks and/or new skills the characters find.

And it wasn't even like properly fleshed out. Like... later seasons of 7 deadly sins you still roughly know what is going on because ok nice finale everyone come back for last hurrah. Here is like the backstory is incomplete, theres not enough content to have so much fighting.

Okay. I can't watch anime. I'm a binger. Sigh. Why am I like this. This is why I can't have nice things. I abuse them and then I have to discard them before I am abused too much by them.

What a life, what a life.

Sometimes I wonder is it mental fog, or spiritual fog. Or maybe just plain tiredness. Or by frying the brain.

[[I wrote this at]]*|9:43 PM|

Wednesday, January 29, 2025

[[Frieren takeaways]]

1. It would be very fun to live a very long life and pursue whimsical projects

2. Much of life is lead due to death lurking in the background.

I really like the idea of visiting an old friend after a hundred years or so, and spend like 5 years together. Man that sounds so fun. It's like the kind of life i would want to lead. Everyone on their on projects, but you see someone who you think, yknow, will lead interesting lives. Then you catch up and update on the new ideas / perspectives. Wow. So fun so fun. I suppose there is an idea of friends or people you are close to having parts of you. So fun to revisit those parts.

I also really like the idea of being able to take your time and detour. I am frenetic at times due to death coming. Therefore there is need to optimise. If there is no death, there is no need to optimise. Or rather, optimisation will look very different because it is a very different game with very different aims. It moves from a finite game to an infinite game.

Sigh, i don't like finite games. Not because I'm bad at them, but cos i tunnel and try to win them. And it isn't actually that fun. I mean, it is fun, but not in the holistic way of fun.

I would love to be very generous with my time. But I don't have a lot of time. I think being curious would be so fun with so much time. Because you can put off decisions forever.

I also think that the elves/bible have it right. That there would be very little need to marry and reproduce if you live forever. Companionship yes, but like yknow, all the rest, whats the rush?

I would also love to become super powerful through vast accumulation of knowledge and hard work.

I would also like to create. So fun when you can create forever!! Now there is like, no certainty that something good will be created prior to death and there are a million other things that are more optimal to do before death. Than say, paint a nice painting. Like tell people the gospel.

Ah eternity sounds so fun.

[[I wrote this at]]*|6:15 PM|

Saturday, January 18, 2025

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You know, sometimes when you watch really talented people perform. Or a good piece of art. There is something in the beauty that just strikes you and makes you happy. Like a weird non-me centered happy. Like a non-achievement centered happy. Just happy in. Rather than happy for.

It is nice. I would like to do some more of that.

[[I wrote this at]]*|11:40 PM|

Thursday, January 16, 2025

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If loving is letting go. Then... that's weird. That can't be it? Or can it?

Very interesting new perspectives then on what is easy to let go and what is hard.

Well it could be that loving is letting go. But there are other things that are also letting go.

Like can't be arsed.

If loving is letting go, though, not letting go, is definitely not loving.

Hmmmm. Wow I am teaching logic class here.

But maybe loving is letting go is just false. Loving could be just being possessive no? Or by definition loving cannot be possessive and must be pure and all that wanting the best.

In which case, letting go doesnt say jack shit about loving and loving about letting go.

But oh no, bible says whoever does not love does not know God.

Well presumably that is conflating different definitions of love.

[[I wrote this at]]*|12:18 AM|

Sunday, January 12, 2025

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Do you reckon that prayer could be just a person talking about ownself in a more disassociated way through thinking he is talking to God? And that this has lots of positive benefits in terms of reflecting and pausing and rationalising such that the person acts in a better way thereafter and thus prayer is useful / helpful?

Or it could be useful and helpful to talk to the almighty and all powerful God who wants to listen to prayers.

[[I wrote this at]]*|12:25 AM|

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We all don't get what we want after all. And that is fine. We will get what we want in the future, if all we want is God! Or almost all we want? Something like that.

I think most people can't be the best in the world at something. Neither can most people have their first choice people for something, purely unqualified. What happens is that we learn contentment with what we have and convince ourselves that we do not want to be the best nor want what we do not have. And... I suppose its a feature not a bug? It is how it is supposed to happen? How it is supposed to work? That is how you break away from desire, to some degree? Kill greed? By the futility of it? Thanks be to God that im such a noob. Else I will keep the illusion that I have control even longer, until inevitably I realise I am not God, nor a demi-God, nor even a capable ish person. Well, the last part about capable person is very tough. I always think of myself as reasonably capable and I find capability a very important trait to have. But... Well. Maybe the point is that you can be capable without being able to control. So maybe the correct term is a person with the ability to control my own destiny. Which is very anti whatever we have been thought. Perhaps for good intentions, to motivate us to work hard and strive for greatness. And we should do such. But still knowing that we do not control our own destiny. For you can die at any time, which is the most obvious. But less obvious is that you can fall sick, have your parents die, become paralysed, lose mental capacities, get targeted by the mob, get wrongly accused of something .etc .etc.

On a completely separate note

I'm trying to understand does a risk free interest rate guarantee inflation? I mean the standard argument is that inflation happens when money supply increases faster than goods and services. And there is some sort of intuitive argument there that of course if more money chase less goods, then price go up.

But... I dunno, it seems to leave out a lot more things, like what about assets. What about interest rates?

It seems to me that if risk free interest rates are non-0, positive X%... money surely has to devalue? Because it necessarily means that money now is worth more than money in the future just by time value of having the money. And if that is so, surely that is inflationary (without even caring about what services / goods are produced).

[[I wrote this at]]*|12:08 AM|

Sunday, January 5, 2025

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Sometimes I wonder why don't criminals or organised crime or even vigilante groups like anonymous, take on billionaires and/or corrupt politicians and the like. Well I suppose there are a few reasons for that:

1. It is always easier to take on / bully the weak. And people do not get into positions of power by being weak. Hence, insofar as they are in it for self-interest (and this would cover most criminals and organised crime), then they are just merely taking the sensible path of least resistance.

2. Like recognises like? If they are in the business of screwing other people over, why would they screw over someone else who is good at screwing other people over as well?

Yeah i suppose its mostly just the first one.

[[I wrote this at]]*|11:19 PM|

Wednesday, January 1, 2025

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2024 has been pretty good. I also would like to complain that my home internet is super lag. And its not even midnight yet when everyone sends those boomer happy new year jpegs.

Thank God for:

1. Big head baby

2. Church change

3. Good health

4. Reasonably enjoyable work

5. Reasonably enjoyable time outside of work

6. Quite a few decent overseas trips

7. Uhh, I cant remember if the big stock market losses were this year, but anyway. Happy that I still have enough money for my own needs and to give away (to wall street and otherwise)

8. Of course, friends and family

Oh look its new year. I'll think more some other time.

[[I wrote this at]]*|12:01 AM|