[[How has been]]

Saturday, August 8, 2026

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I find a lot of the point in climate change such as ocean currents or changing weather patterns to be painted overwhelmingly negative. But why is change negative? Change just is, human caused or otherwise.

Where a place gets hotter (or colder), it is worse for the incumbents, for sure, and that might be human or otherwise. Then it becomes a race to see who can adapt better. Arguably, change is generally better for those who are doing less well because there is a chance for progress.

Similarly for ocean currents stopping or reversing or whatnot. Yes the current system is optimised for this but a new system will just arise, who knows, might be great for some fishes or something.

Plus, if evolution is true, it is just survival of the fittest, whats there to complain about?

[[I wrote this at]]*|10:39 AM|

Monday, August 3, 2026

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I notice I follow a pattern regarding lust.

Like... it starts as an itch that can be brushed off. Then it grows into an really really strong itch.

And it whispers for me to do things that I don't want to do, and it is like so itchy that when I try to ignore it / do something else, it only gets more and more itchy. Like it literally ramps up really high. And doing I don't really find any good antidote to it thus far. Most things only seem to be temporary reprieves and then itch comes back better than before.

Oh wait, actually I do have a solution, but it is kinda ridiculous. Like... if I play an idle game like really seriously, for like a day. That totally fries my brain and seems to reset it. The itch turns off and is gone.

But of course the cost is frying my brain, like... making it really tired (usually playing it really seriously also comes with sleeping much less) together with running alot of computations (mostly math) in my mind over a long period of time.

Not sure why am I like that, and pretty sure there should be some psychological thing behind it. And... hmm, I'm not sure are many people like this too or if this is just universal human experience (or at lest, a big enough subset of humanity) though of course you can replace lust with whatever it is that you are drawn to and the idle games with whatever kinda self destructive thing that somehow works?

[[I wrote this at]]*|11:42 PM|

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Somewhat related to the previous post, theres this issue of goodharts law that "When a measure becomes a target, it ceases to be a good measure".

I don't like GDP as a measure but its like so ubiquitous and everyone understands it easily. GDP is supposed to be the sum total of all economic activity within the country. But the way it is calculated is where it gets murky because it generally omits things that are not tracked such as things with economic value done out of goodwill (e.g gifts) and barter and... arguably omits things that are not tracked that should be tracked (e.g cash transactions in informal economy).

There are presumably many ways to "game" GDP as a measure. For instance, you could make people earn more money and spend it on other people doing things for them instead of doing things themselves. Like if you clean your own home, you don't contribute to GDP. If you say, clean another person's home and with the income, paid the other person to clean your own home, you contribute to GDP. But gotta make sure it is paid, if it is barter and offset, it doesn't count.

So... GDP underrepresents every country's economic activity, but to different extents. To use GDP as a direct comparison for, say how productive an economy is and thus as a proxy for standard of living runs into these issues. For example, if in country A, the children run around and are being watched over by neighbours or relatives while in country B, children go to infant care then child care, country B's GDP will be that much higher because the production of taking care of children is not being paid in country A. One might argue then that the childcares have money to then do other things with it and you would be right, but that would count separately to GDP if it constitutes another person's income and is already counted (as it should).

[[I wrote this at]]*|12:23 AM|

Saturday, August 1, 2026

[[Is low TFR an existential problem for Singapore?]]

Had a chat with Ray recently and he was saying that the Singapore govt says that low TFR is an existential problem for Singapore but does not act like it is an existential problem and instead more like a good to have (maybe a very good to have). The key idea is that the existential aim for Singapore is still economic growth and we are not willing to trade it off for higher TFR and thus are consigned to doing things at the margin and trying to squeeze higher TFR out of limited options so that we can try to have our cake and eat it, but if not to eat it, to have our cake first and foremost.

So we were saying all the govt incentives are still aligned to economic growth rather than TFR. For instance, public service bonuses and political appointment holder salaries and the like. So some wacky idea would be to tie public service bonuses / salaries to TFR and political appointment holder salaries. It could just be like take the current and multiply it by the TFR (such that if TFR > 1 then everyone gets a raise, if less than 1 everyone gets a pay cut, of course capped at something sensible). Reminds me of the Warren Buffet quote that he can kill the deficit by just passing a law that bars all sitting members of congress from being reelected if deficit is > 3%. Just some sort of strong incentive alignment.

But of course, on further thought, I don't think that will work. Or rather, that might work but at too high a cost. I am of the opinion that we are somewhat stuck with having to maintain trust (that our policies are pro-business) and/or a reputation of having a highly skilled workforce. If these two things are sacrificed on the altar of a higher TFR, I think the chances of increasing TFR is definitely probable, and, it would be likely that we would need to dip into reserves to maintain the current standard of living. Which I think Singapore can do for quite awhile. But it would just be the opposite of what we did previously which is sacrifice TFR and build up reserves / GDP per capita and I'm quite sure we are not intending to unwind that. Besides, for the individuals who want many kids AND are ok with being poor, there are many ways to do that in Singapore or elsewhere.

So its ok, we just have a low TFR, squeeze the margins, bring immigrants in, enjoy the high standard of living. That can be the Singapore identity. Surely theres a place in the world for that, obviously many countries would make that exchange in a heartbeat. It is easy to trade money for TFR than TFR for money, you can always have low TFR and be poor.

And additionally, I think that losing trust of pro-business and highly skilled workforce will create a negative cascade that can easily go out of control, that is, drop the economic aspect a lot more than we want or plan for because it stops the virtuous circle and starts the opposite. Basically we have been hardcore re-investing (if you play any game, that is, scaling the rate at which you earn money). But once you move the society away from increasing rate of earning money to being willing to decrease the rate of earning money, usually on consumption goods (arguably more babies are a consumption good, at least compared to skilled immigration), you usually do this when you know the end point. In a game that can be some short amount of time before the final boss fight (so that you can pump it into levelling up your fighting capacity), in life most people generally do it to enjoy (no point in having a lot of money when dead, i.e die with zero). But for a country, there is no end point. And thus it becomes trading the economic future of the country for the TFR / whatever social future that might be construed as.

But okay, let's not be so pessimistic, we could try to squeeze the margins really hard and maybe give out a few million dollars (total, not per person). Maybe that moves the needle. Maybe bifurcate the economy into mo kids less money and mo money less kids. have that k-shaped thing.

[[I wrote this at]]*|1:18 AM|

Tuesday, July 28, 2026

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One of the great things about an aging and shrinking population is that real estate should become cheaper, at least, maybe land should since the amount of land per person, in theory, should increase.

[[I wrote this at]]*|10:45 PM|

Sunday, July 5, 2026

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Well a friend opined I don't make a very good partner. It seemed like it was largely because I was not super serious about finding a partner (idk why that would make me not a very good partner but maybe it is more of a unlikely to find someone as an opinion). But I do think I am serious though of course in a very qualified way.

Dunno leh, how to be serious if there is no one to be serious about.

Well I suppose most people would say use apps and just like do modern dating. But well, I find modern dating rather superficial. Sighhhhhhh. And I'm not explaining what I mean by modern dating so that nobody can criticise that opinion hohoho.

I guess at the end of it, there is action that can be taken, when one chooses not to take that action, one is choosing the result that comes from not taking the action. Thus, there is nothing to complain about.

Well I like to think that I make a very good partner. Like exceedingly good. But it is true when probed, what can I offer that doesn't sound cliche and all that? Well perhaps it is just the cliches. But I like to think that I will help my partner become a better person, as I hope she does me, by some sort of challenging / competition.

And besides, behind the cliches, I think I have decent substance. And thus it is not just said cliches? But well, I guess track record is not great lmao. I like to think most of these have been worked out. ? ? Actually I dunno, the proof of the pudding is in the eating after all right. Now say good (or no good) has no use. It is like discussing the interests of my daughter (who doesn't exist).

Short post short post. Life is actually quite tiring recently when I met less people. HMMM. Does this mean I'm not an introvert? No no they are all wrong. It is tiring because the weight of responsibility lies heavy upon me. But I would like a stronger back rather than less responsibility.

And joy in my toil, yes joy in my work and in my toil.

[[I wrote this at]]*|10:59 PM|

Friday, June 26, 2026

[[On hikikomoris]]

Ok quick one before I go and sleep.

So, I think it is relatively uncontroversial that:

1. Hikikomoris, to some degree, choose to be Hikikomoris

2. Being Hikikomori imposes costs on one's family (or whoever is supporting their living)

3. Insofar as 1 and 2 are true, to the degree that one chooses to be a Hikikomori, one chooses to impose costs on one's family

4. To the degree that 3 is true, it is selfish and bad behaviour

5. To the degree that it is selfish and bad behaviour, one should face negative consequences (or natural consequences if one prefers a slightly weaker conclusion)

Ok thats one train of thought. Hidden in are some, presumably, uncontroversial assumptions that one should be held responsible for one's choices .etc.

Another train of thought would be:

1. Unchanged

2. Being a Hikikomori is a negative situation

3. We should help people in negative situations that are outside of their control

4. (from 1-3) To the degree that Hikikomoris are not choosing to be Hikikomoris, they should be helped (or if you want a more risky you can argue for the opposite too - to the degrees that they choose, they shouldn't be helped, but I shan't)

A slightly different train of thought could be:

1. Unchanged

2. Unchanged

3. We should help other people in negative situations, regardless of whether it is from their choice

Okay, if you are so empathetic and charitable, but then you just opened a large universe more to help. Which in theory is fine, but on practical grounds, how might you prioritise the helping of peoples especially given:

4. It costs a lot to help a Hikikomori (at least more than helping, say, a starving person)

My personal opinion is that all can be held true at the same time.

That Hikikomoris should face consequences for their selfish and bad choices, that they should be helped (more for when it is not a choice) and still be helped (but perhaps less) when it is a choice (due to practical considerations).

[[I wrote this at]]*|12:00 AM|

Thursday, June 18, 2026

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Yesterday's conversation about generosity and I'm also reading this called by grace, led by grace that my mother left out on the table.

So wrt the pride stuff and the being humble, to be honest its such a struggle.

If the question is am I generous enough? The answer is obviously no. What does generous enough mean anyway?

Can one give more? answer is always yes.

Theres a great pulling in two directions. When I talk to normal people, many people, arguably, I feel like I have my life in order, doing fine, doing well, doing great even. But i'm comparing to low quality leh. And it is arguably prideful, even if accurate, to think this way. Can something be prideful and accurate? Maybe the pride is in looking at it in relation to oneself and not the diagnosis of it as low quality.

Like if one just compares to this lady who lived out her whole life doing missions, just a simple life, totally owned right. That is not to say that one cannot live out a life for God not doing full time paid ministry, be it missions or otherwise. But the bar for non-full time paid ministry Christian, the intensity of non-full time paid ministry is lacking leh. Like are those people in church, our fellow brothers and sisters, living for God as he/she ought? to what degree are we doing it?

Oh boy, i'm using leh so much, i feel like using "leh" is a bar, a bar of my contempt (and/or pride), like signalling pathetic.

I KNOW that i am not doing it to the degree that I can, and way below the degree that I can. Actually, I feel like I have written about this before, many years ago, in a different church, maybe even a different whole setting. It's a very... arguably pathetic situation to be in, where I think I am doing more than many, but I think I'm doing pathetic, and in so thinking, I think others are doing worse than pathetic. And I know there are those doing better, and I would like to learn from them, but I don't learn fast, and I forget, wilfully or otherwise.

Well, arguably, if one (i.e me) thinks one can do better, one can definitely do better. Another might not be able to do better, and might not think that he/she can do better. If so, then me thinking that the other person is as pathetic as me or even worse, because we do the same things, is flawed, and I am actually more pathetic than him/her. Or, well, see more = need to do more. The joys of being ignorant?

Actually i'm quite convinced the correct read of this is to not compare with other people. But this flies against my comparing and benchmarking tendencies because how else am I supposed to gauge? I gauge against God's standard, fall really short. Gauge subjectively maybe can argue something. So... just fall short I suppose. Lol.

Anyway, one step at a time. Let me be more humble and love God more and be more generous and more hospitable and to compare less.

[[I wrote this at]]*|11:11 PM|

Monday, June 15, 2026

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I wanna be more humble. Plis.

I also wanna get off instagram and facebook and youtube.

But what to do instead? There are no blogs for me to read. I would love to just visit all my friends blogs and have a conversation through reading, but nobody writes. Only Garlica writes but his stuff needs lots of reading. Maybe if I really get off instagram and facebook and youtube I will have the brain to read it.

Did you know that I often play a youtube video to listen to in the shower? At 2x speed, as usual. Maximising the time yknow. Frazzled, probably is the word.

Actually what the heck am I griping about, theres so many things to do. I can read my bible study, read the bible or read fiction or non-fiction. I could play the piano, or sing by myself. Just that all these feel like work when I get back, and i'm tired from work. I'm pretty sure I should just do it and sleep early. I've conclude it before!! And yet this low energy SHIT is gobbling up my precious time and arguably energy. And its not even THAT low quality, it is like, generally no trash that i'm watching. But decent is the enemy of great.

And I wanna be great, but NOT proud.

Maybe I should write a blog post every day. But the last time I tried something like that the writing became rather trash and/or performative. It's like what the guy said you can read your bible and grow further from God if you are reading to be proud that you are reading, which I think, many times I am.

[[I wrote this at]]*|9:22 PM|

Saturday, June 13, 2026

[[On desiring glory]]

I've been thinking recently, always a dangerous thing.

Anyway, I've been thinking that God desires and it is fitting to have all the praise and the glory.

I like praise and glory too. But then again, similar to the earlier train of thoughts, why do I like praise and glory? What does it do for me? Literally nothing right, its just a good in itself (or a fell good in itself). Another discussion may be had on the rationality of loving praise and glory so much.

So, it is sin to try and snatch praise and glory from the rightful owner, that is God.

So whats the correct end state? All the humans orientate and give praise and glory to God, instead of to each other, and God gives some level of praise and glory back to some humans.

But it is a different "quality" of praise and glory. The human give praise and glory to God is the oh you are so good, the best, the alpha top dawg. The God give praise and glory to human is derivative and of "lower quality", which is like well done good and faithful servant for being obedient and such.

I suppose the second one is more fitting but we (I) want the first one, I wanna be the very best and be praised for such, like no one ever was.

But why? I look into myself and really can't find a good reason why I want it but I want it.

[[I wrote this at]]*|11:31 AM|